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“Okay, I got us some bread, eggs, and milk, but we’ll have to do without sugar again,” I said as I put the plastic bags with groceries on the counter.
Catherine stood up from the couch where she’d been reading. “We don’t use sugar anyway,” she said. She took the milk from me to put it in the fridge.
“That’s because I can’t ever get it,” I said.
Cat put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s fine, sis. It’s bad for us anyway.” She smiled at me, and I returned the smile, nodding.
“How was work?” she asked.
I groaned. “The same as always. Same shit, different day.”
I worked at a pub and grill that was open for breakfast and ran all the way through to midnight. It wasn’t my life’s dream to work there. The men groped me when the manager wasn’t looking, I always smelled like beer, and when I worked back-to-back shifts, I was dead on my feet. But the job brought in money, and that was all we needed.
“I could get a job, you know,” Cat said.
“No,” I said, shaking my head firmly. I put the bread in the bread bin and took the last two slices from the last loaf to make myself a sandwich. “As long as you keep up with your studies, we’re fine. You’re going to make something of yourself and get out of this hole.”
Cat nodded. She was five years younger than I was. When our parents died in an accident, it was just me and her. I’d quit college and gotten a job so we could keep living, and she’d finished high school. I’d been on her about getting good grades, and now she was studying to get a better job than my miserable existence at the pub.
“I’ll get us both out of here, okay?” Cat said.
“You take care of yourself, sis. I have Oscar. We’ll figure something out.”
Cat called her out. “Sure, because Oscar is going to walk into the sunset with you.” She filled the kettle and put it on the burner.
“He’s not that bad,” I insisted, preparing cups for tea. “He’s just…” I didn’t know what word to use. “He’s been with us through thick and thin.”
“He has,” Cat agreed. “And I know you love the guy, but don’t you ever wonder what he’s sticking around for?”
I frowned and leaned my hip against the counter, crossing my arms. “What do you mean?”
“You were high school sweethearts, and it was great to have someone who wasn’t so caught up in our grief when we lost Mom and Dad, but you guys were never supposed to be the forever couple. He gambles.”
“He stopped doing that.”
“Did he?” Cat frowned. “I don’t think so.”
I shook my head. “He’s had trouble, but he’s really trying, Cat.”
“Trying isn’t doing,” Cat pointed out. “And he’s not helping you bring money into the house—he’s taking the bit you have as extra and gambling it away. We don’t have that much to begin with.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I hear what you’re saying, but I can’t just get rid of him. He stuck by us when things got really bad. How can I tell him it’s over now, when things are better?”
“You’re not obligated to stay tied to him when he doesn’t give you anything in return. Isn’t a relationship supposed to be give and take?”
I shrugged. Cat was right. When had she become so wise? My little sister had grown up while I hadn’t been looking—I was always so busy trying to make ends meet.
She was right. Oscar hadn’t exactly been helping me.
He had redeeming qualities, though. He was always there for me, no matter what. I could talk to him. I could dream with him. We always talked of a better life, a brighter future. We just had to get out of this hole.
The kettle whistled, and Cat filled our cups with boiling water. I added the tea bags, and we waited while the tea steeped.
“Things won’t be hard forever,” I said.
“No, it won’t,” Cat agreed. “I just worry about you. You’re all about me and putting me first, but you should put yourself first once in a while, too.”
“I’ll put myself first when things get easier,” I promised. “I just have to make sure it all works out now.”
