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He drew his shades down again to eye her sternly. “I don’t want you to remember how I died.”
Her chest ached. “I can’t help it. I should have—”
“There was nothing you could do.” He sighed and waved his hand, causing his gaudy rings to sparkle. “I’m a bad man, baby girl. I’ve done things you wouldn’t believe. I had it coming. Every man who takes a place in the underworld knows what we’re courting, and it caught up to me. I just regret you had to witness it. You shouldn’t have been there for that.”
“It’s over, Manny.”
He nodded. “It is. Vengeance was served, and you and Gavin are starting a new chapter. You’re two halves of the same whole. You’re both strong in different ways. You’re good for each other. Your path isn’t an easy one, but you have friends and family to help you through the dark times. As a unit you’re invincible. Trust each other and you’ll pull through.”
She heard a noise in the distance and knew instinctively it was from the waking world, a world she didn’t want to return to yet. She focused on him with every fiber of her being. This dream was so precious, she would give anything for more time.
“You finally let yourself love him the way he needs, the way I never could. I did things to him you wouldn’t agree with, but it was for the best. He wouldn’t be who he is today without his training, and I don’t regret it. He’s a man who will never give up, which is what he needs to survive.”
Manny stared at her with his son’s piercing gaze.
“You have no idea what’s coming.”
“What do you mean?”
“Be strong for me, baby girl. You can take it.”
“I don’t understand.”
He spoke faster. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You know who you can trust. Keep them close. Create the family you need.”
His image began to blur, and the fear of losing him rose up again, choking her.
“Wait, don’t leave me,” she begged and fought the paralysis as the colors of her world began to bleed.
“I’ll never leave you. You were always my light, Lyla. Shine bright.”
4
Lyla lurched up in bed,hands outstretched, tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew without opening her eyes that she wasn’t by the pool. She was in bed in the master suite with the rumpled sheets wrapped around her naked body. She dropped her face in her hands and sobbed. It was like losing him all over again. Manny was the first person to see something special in her. He gave her the confidence to express her opinions and listened to her when everyone else had ignored her. He was an integral part of her life, her father in every way but blood, and he was gone like so many others.
She rolled out of bed and splashed water on her face before she dressed in mommy attire—yoga pants and another oversized shirt. When she found the nursery empty, she trotted downstairs. Her somber mood lightened considerably when she found Gavin on the floor with Nora in the living room. Nora scooted determinedly while Honey and Beau watched avidly.
Gavin looked up with a smile that made her heart sore. Like father, like son. Manny was right. Gavin was happy. Happier than she could ever remember him being, even when they were together before. Back then, he’d been so guarded and mired in deception and underworld shit and now … Now, he was just himself. CEO, husband, father, and it looked fucking amazing on him.
“Morning, baby,” he said.
She went to him and kissed him. “Thanks for letting me sleep. You’re not going to work today?”
“No, I’m taking the day off.”
She scooped up Nora who wasn’t happy about being interrupted during her crawling attempts. She pet the dogs and ambled into the kitchen. As she made herself a cup of tea, her gaze wandered outside to the pool where the sun highlighted the red and gold striped loungers she and Manny had been on. She couldn’t help herself. She walked outside and looked around, almost expecting him to appear out of thin air. Everything was just as it had been in the dream. She sat on the lounger Manny occupied and closed her eyes. It was warm from the sun, but she imagined it was from his body heat, as if he had just walked away. Wistful longing laced with heartache filled her, and her breath hitched.
She felt a whoosh of air as a furry body burrowed between her legs. Beau rested his chin on her ankle and sighed loudly. He was never far from her when she was having a hard day. He knew her moods better than she did. She sent her hand through his fur and let the anguish drain slowly. She wasn’t sure whether the dream was a blessing or a curse and didn’t care. The sorrow was worth the price of seeing him. She hadn’t had a dream like that since before Nora was born. Though it had been three years since his death, it felt like yesterday. Fuck, she missed him.
A psychologist would tell her that it was her subconscious supplying these fantasies and that her mixed feelings about her father caused her to conjure the only loving parental figure she had. Did it really matter why she dreamed of Manny? If her brain wanted to create an illusion where Manny encouraged her to move forward, love her family, and forgive herself, why shouldn’t she? She wanted to believe that Manny was at peace and watching over them. It was the only thing she would accept.
When she went in the house, she found Nora perched in a baby seat on the kitchen island. Gavin had cereal smeared on his shirt and was trying to feed his daughter who kept grabbing the spoon before he could reach her mouth.
“You okay?” he asked.
She wrapped her arms around him from behind and sighed. “Yeah.”
She drew in his scent and grinned. His cologne was overpowered by the smell of baby powder.
