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Is it using him to want this? Maybe. But he’s made it very clear he wants it too. Besides, the moment we sleep together, he’ll probably stop saying nice things to me. He’ll have scratched the itch and moved on. The thought makes me feel miserable, and I push it aside.
I give Dotty a one-armed hug before I get out of her car that she affectionately calls Rust Bucket. It doesn’t have a reverse which is why she couldn’t drive me all the way up to his house. She needs room to do a U-Turn, and this is the widest section of the road.
For a minute, I watch the red glow of the taillights grow smaller. Then I adjust my backpack and start walking.
The moon is full and bright in the sky, illuminating my path. An owl hoots in the distance as the cicadas continue their nightly song. The breeze skitters across my hot skin, reminding me of how achy I’ve been for days.
I’ve re-read all of my favorite passages from my latest steamy book this week. But each time I read them, I imagined a certain cowboy instead. A big, hairy cowboy who looks at me like he wants to eat me right up.
I’ve only stepped on Barrett’s porch when the front door flings open. He stomps onto the boards, barely illuminated by the porch light.
The first thing that registers is that he’s shirtless and the cowboy is built. He’s all sharp lines and chiseled muscles covered in a very thick dusting of hair. I have the insane urge to reach out and brush my fingers through it. Will it be soft and springy to my touch?
My gaze skates lower, resting on that dark, happy trail that disappears into the top of his blue jeans. My mouth waters at the thought of unzipping his pants and tracing that path with my tongue. I want to put my hands all over his big, hairy body. I want to spend hours touching him like he’s my personal life-size teddy bear.
He frowns at me. “Sadie? What are you doing here this time of night?”
How do I explain to my crush that I’m here for a booty call?
I hold up the box of treats from the bakery, doubly glad that I have them with me now. “I brought sweets.”
Understanding flits across his face, along with another emotion that I can’t define. It passes so quickly that I wonder if I saw anything at all. “You’re here about the frosting.”
I need to look like I know what I’m doing. The magazine article I read on my phone on the way over said that guys find confidence sexy. “I bought condoms. Plenty of them. Extra-large.”
I step forward to tell him I got the flavored ones too, only to trip over my own feet. Stupid shoes. Stupid third and fourth glass of wine that I guzzled when Dotty wasn’t looking. I didn’t think she’d drive me over here if she knew how much I’d had, but sometimes, a girl just needs a little liquid courage. Besides, I can handle my liquor. Totally.
In the dim light, I pitch forward, but I never land on the porch boards. Instead, Barrett puts his hands around my waist steadying me. My hands come to rest on the hard muscle of his chest, and yes, that thick hair is every bit as soft as I’d imagined.
“So plush,” I whisper, the words followed by a soft hiccup.
“Fuck, how much alcohol have you had tonight?” His tone carries a definite note of disappointment, but I can’t figure out why he might be upset. He wanted this. He’s made that very clear every time he’s seen me.
“Why does it matter if I had a teensy sip of wine?” I think my words slur a little. Maybe. I’m not too sure. I’m still busy brushing all of this delicious man fur under my fingertips. Why does this man even bother with shirts? He should walk around town without one so I can always see him like this.
“It matters because this isn’t a fling. I want all of you. Every inch of your body, every piece of your heart, and every part of your soul. I won’t settle for anything less.” His heart is poundingbeneath my fingertips. He’s so warm and solid. He hasn’t moved my hands or made any effort to step away from me.
I swallow hard, remembering the words from that article. It said I have to be honest with him about what I want if it’s going to be good for both of us. “I can’t give you that.”
“Those are my terms,” his voice is gentle but laced with steel.
“Then we’re at an impasse.” I definitely slur a little on the last word. Doesn’t matter. This hot cowboy is rejecting me. I wanted him wrapped around me all night long, wanted to feel his thick body warming me like a blanket.
His question is so quiet that I almost miss it. “What has you so scared?”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut, but I refuse to let him see that. I lift my chin, trying to draw on the inner strength that’s always carried me through. “If you’re not interested in me, then I’ll find another cowboy.”
I turn away and march down the porch steps, my pride stinging. I have no intention of finding another man. Ithasto be Barrett, even though I don’t fully understand my need for him. I can’t let him see that. Can’t let him know how much I want him, not when he can reject me so easily.
But I only make it two steps before he grabs my arm. In one quick motion, he’s yanked me back against his body. I can feel the hard press of his bulge against my belly. His voice is low and gritty, his breath fanning my ear as he says, “Hell, no. That’s not how this works.”
I struggle against him. At least, I try to. My body though doesn’t mind being held by Barrett. “I’m not interested in your terms.”
He grunts. “I don’t give a damn. You’re not fucking another cowboy. Hell, you’re not fucking anyone. No one but me gets to know what you look like when you’re taking nine deep. No onebut me gets to know what you sound like when you’re bent over my bed, begging to come.”
I sigh, frustrated at this man who won’t just give us both what we want. “That’s all I’m asking for—a quick and dirty fuck!”
He pulls on my hair, tipping my head back. He’s just rough enough to let me know that he’s in charge. “First, we will never, ever under any circumstances fuck. When I’m inside of you, I will always be making love to my wife. Second, there’s nothing quick about what I plan to do to you. It’ll take all night long.”
