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My sister shook her head. “I’m fine and he’s good too. But there are dark times we have to deal with too. I have to help him deal. It’s not what anyone would call ‘normal,’ but it’s us. I get that you and Cook need what you found at Serenity to help cover up those dark moments.”
I sipped the tea again, surprised that she actually did seem to understand. But I didn’t want to dwell on it with her. In a small voice, I said, “I think we need to create new memories now.”
Melanie held her tea but didn’t drink. Her eyes were glossy like she was stuck in the past.
“I know I hurt you when I didn’t want to see you after Signora,”I said.
“Oh, Maddie—”
I held up my hand, cutting her off before she could really begin. “I know what I did and,”—I sucked in a deep breath—“I’m sorry about that. We both know I wasn’t in my right mind. Hell, I’m still working on discovering what my right mind is. Honestly, though, I wasn’t thinking about you.”
“You shouldn’t have been,” said Lanie. “You were just trying to survive. And for how long I searched for you... for all the work I did to put myself in a position to find you, I just had this picture in my mind ofmebeing your savior.”
I chuckled. “Not Cook?”
“He wouldn’t have been my first choice,” said Lanie slowly, “but I didn’t really know him then. He’s a good guy. I’m happy that you’re happy.”
“I’m very happy.” I sipped my tea, no longer really tasting it. “I don’t know how to explain why Cook over anyone else, but it’s his presence and his voice and his body and just. He reminded me of when I was safe, once upon a time. It’s just everything about him. It goes beyond physical. He gives me space when I need it and holds me tight when I need that too.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” she said.
“But you want one?”
“I did.” She cringed. “Yes, at the time, I definitely wanted answers.”
“It’s kinda like a photograph with Cook. He’s the image of something set in stone, but with the right eye, you can see the story behind him,” I offered.
Lanie leaned forward, looking over at me. “I think that artsy eye of yours is connected to what you saw in him. Your photography is stunning. Maddie. I’m so proud of you.”
A smile tickled my lips. “You still don’t see it how I do.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” She took a deep breath. “But I don’t have to. And after what I’ve seen with you two, I’m kinda thankful for small mysteries.” She laughed into her mug. “That sounded like a fucking cliché.”
I knew what she was talking about, though. The Daddy–baby girl thing we had going on. I couldn’t even explain that; it just felt right. It was all the same—the feelings when I first saw Cook, the fear when he was shot and nearly died, the need to leave the MC and Mafia stuff behind.
I never could leave him. Or live without him. Even if I tried.
“I have an appointment with Ava tomorrow,” I said, offering that up as an explanation to fill the silence. “We’ve actually planned out a bunch of therapy sessions.”
“That’s great, Maddie,” said Lanie. “I think she will really help.”
“You know, in case the BDSM doesn’t?”
Lanie snorted tea through her nostrils, and I laughed. Once she recovered, she mumbled, “Too much information.”
“I thought you wanted to know more about me.”
“Not about that.” She wiped her face with her jacket sleeve. I hadn’t thought to bring out any napkins for us.
“Oh, come on.” I laughed. “I’ve got so many other things to tell you. Would you like to—”
“Nope.” Lanie hopped to her feet, leaving the mug of tea on the table. “I think I got the gist. I’ll leave that to you two. Just don’t run him too hard. He’s injured.”
I laughed and pushed to my feet too.
With my arm looped through hers—this I remembered from us being kids—I walked her out to her car. She almost wanted to leave too quickly, scared that I might bring up more about our sex life.
Daddy needed his rest. I, however, was so wound up after keeping myself close to the edge for so long, I really needed his cock. My thighs rubbed against my sensitive lower lips.
