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But just because I was useful alive didn’t mean Ripple or any number of assholes didn’t terrorize me. When would Ripple’s patience with me saying no run out? When would the boss turn a blind eye and not care much about my mental health?
Mental health was a joke though, wasn’t it?
Xander’s grip wasn’t lessening, and why did it feel like he cared more than nothing? The Vipers didn’t care, and that is why I’d started my little Honey Badger box. If they didn’t give a fuck, I could also not give a fuck.
I righted my dress.
“Fine. Off to the morgue, Jeeves.”
I took a step, but his grip didn’t release me and I had to stop.
“I’m not dropping you back at the morgue. Not alone. You’re drunk.”
I shook my head. “No. Tipsy. Give me some coffee, and I’ll be right as rain. The dead don’t really judge, anyway.”
I took another step and sucked in air that smelled a whole like Xander.
Yeah. I was right as rain. Right as rain if that meant my panties were drenched and I let the shots go straight to my head. Fucking hell. How desperate was I to be wanted that I just latched onto the bigger, badder gang leader? I wasn’t stupid. Most women weren’t a reason to start a gang war, but most women didn’t come with the ability to control the city morgue. I was playing with fire.
My heart needed to slow itself down. Sure, I could lie to myself and say the organ was playing some insane drumbeat solo out of the stress of having to spend another damn night in my less than safe apartment. But really? This was all such a bad damn idea.
Where did the night start going wrong?
Probably about the time I asked a Spector to be my date without saying those exact words.
I’d said favor. A favor for a favor.
The heat burning low in my belly slowly dissipated as I doused my libido with reality.
I had asked him for a favor and it was clear that it wasn’t a date to him. But hell. He’d said yes. He’d taken me.
He wasn’t stupid, though. I was bad news to get involved with.
“Cali, I’m not taking you back to the morgue. God knows if Ripple is planning to go back, and this late at night? Doubtful you’ll have a whole lot of police action to protect you. Let me take you home.”
Home.
I couldn’t tell him that I’d been falling asleep in a twenty-four-hour pancake house just to be around other people.
“Sure. Home.”
I tried to rip his hand off my hip, no longer letting myself enjoy the feeling.
“Or I can just go work on the mayor. That would be helpful for you, wouldn’t it?”
He shrugged.
“It can wait. Maybe we get you water and stay for the cake.”
He backed away from me, and I distractedly smoothed out my dress, making sure it covered my ass.
Xander wanted to just take me home. But I had enough sense to know that, after the little show with Ripple tonight, nothing was likely to be safe. Instead of letting those little sad feeling pop up, I popped off.
“Sure. Whatever. Either way, I am not going home. I can find somewhere to sleep. Maybe we take you to a clinic and see about the little issue with you getting it up and all.”
I patted his chest and enjoyed the way his fingers flexed against me.
So many things I didn’t do out of self-preservation.
