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Xander continued to talk to Cas, and she sidled up to me.
“Okay. What happened? You texted me that you’d asked him to bring you. I assumed it was a date. Why is he so grumpy?”
What the hell could I say? I shrugged.
“Calliope. Tell me now. I can fix it. What happened?”
I smoothed down the nonexistent wrinkles in the little black dress I’d worn. Xander hadn’t even noticed it. I didn’t want to tell her that the second I asked him; I had already picked out my best fuck-me dress in my head. I’d already thought about the little matching underwear set I’d bought the day after meeting him, like he’d ever get to see it. But hell.
“I screwed it up, I guess,” I finally told her.
I tried to take in the room. I tried to notice all the sculptures. I tried to see just how big this place was. I tried to just be here in the moment. There were so many odd angles and little hidden corners that it wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen, not that I was cultured enough to have ever seen any art galleries. I wanted to look at anything and everything that wasn’t Xander, and I wanted to remember what might be the last time I stepped onto Spector territory ever.
“What do you mean? How would you screw it up?”
I looked back at Rylee, trying to ignore that sinking sadness seeping into my stomach.
“That’s a great question. I’m sure it started with the Viper who was trying to pee on me and mark his territory when Xander showed up,” I said.
Rylee snorted, and that got a side glance from Cas and Xander but nothing more.
“You never really told me why they were always sniffing around you so often. What did you do to piss them off?” Rylee asked.
I darted my eyes around and landed back on the bar. I wanted to ignore my shitty past and my even worse present. The future didn’t exactly look bright either, not with my one and only friend standing here in the wrong part of town and the guy I’d built up as a fantasy barely noticing I was alive.
“Can we get a drink?”
Rylee smiled.
“Yeah. Hold on.”
I couldn’t watch her lean into Cas and kiss him without noticing Xander, so I didn’t. The room had plenty of distractions to watch instead. It was just so hard because, if I was happy for her, I was sad for me. It was all fun while it lasted. Fun to have a crush and imagine a better life. Fun to have a friend who had a much better life. But now I was back to just being little old me again. Little old me trying to make things normal with whatever rec center classes I could find to keep me away from the Vipers, or whatever therapist would take what I could afford, or, better yet, hiding in the library whenever I couldn’t afford either.
Would Xander care if I told him I had to pay the Vipers back for something I never owed in the first place? Would he care that the Vipers were why I never had money? The interest, as the Vipers called it, was enough to keep me enslaved forever. They knew how to play a game I never even knew existed. And my mom tried to play a game she sure as hell hadn’t known the rules of until it was too late.
Rylee’s arms wrapped into mine.
“Alright. Drinks. Let’s go,” she said, pulling me away.
“You really do look beautiful, Rylee,” I said, trying to stay in the moment.
Her dress was simple and lacy. Knee length, and it flowed around her. It wasn’t one of those crazy say-yes-to-the-dress monstrosities, although judging by the Spector territories, she probably hadn’t been denied the option.
“Thanks, Cali. But don’t change the topic. Why is it that you look like your dog just died?”
I needed to lock this shit up and hide it away. I needed to stop sulking; it wasn’t like anything was wrong. I’d survived without her before, and I’d never had him. It was all fine. So I plastered a smile back on.
“Nothing is wrong. Just realizing we won’t have too many girls’ nights.”
The bartender stepped over.
“What can I get for the new Mrs. Boss?”
Rylee glowed even and had no idea and it hurt me or that I just felt left behind with no chance at a future to look like that.
“I’ll take a shot of whatever you have that’s fast, quick, and will make me forget my name,” I said before she could even open her mouth.
I didn’t miss the side glance from Rylee.
