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I stopped petting the car to look at him.
“You killed Mr. Willson, didn’t you?”
I wasn’t actually asking. Of course he had.
“I told you Rylee, I’ve always protected you.”
Well shit.
“Then why did you leave me last night?”
The quiet was rather comfortable, but I wanted an answer. I wanted to know why he seemed to do all these things and then push me away. Years ago, it was helping me protect myself to killing daddy dearest, and then he wasn’t even there when the social worker showed up on their porch. Zeiden had said goodbye, but not Cas. Even Xander had given me some snacks for the road, which had all seemed so brotherly. It had made it all the harder to leave them, but some long-lost aunt had been found, and I was shipped off.
I stayed closed off for so long that when I finally decided to rebel and be what I thought was normal, the guys all went missing. Everything in my life had just all seemed to drive me back to here.
“Tell me, Caspian. Why go through all this trouble just to walk away from me?”
All this trouble. The apartment. The car. The trail of bodies. The detective.
“The detective was just jealous, Cas. You know that, right?”
I grabbed his coat. The one thing I’d wanted from that elevator and anything else was a bonus.
“I fucking know he was something. Jealous? The way he was talking to you, it seemed more like he had some kind of vendetta against the Spectors.”
“Cas? How did you know he?—”
“I fucking heard him. You didn’t hang up the phone. He wanted you, but he seemed to be fucking insane when you mentioned something about us. Sure, cops fucking hate us or love us, but to nearly rape or hurt a woman just because she’s wearing my jacket?”
I reached over and put my hand on his arm.
“Is that all this is? Anger at some cop who apparently hates you?”
Cas pushed a button on a fob, and I realized we were pulling into the garage. That had gone a lot faster than I’d expected. I guess when you wanted answers, time had an awful habit of flying by.
He pulled in and the door closed behind us. I wouldn’t push to go home, not yet, because something about this fortress felt safer, and I wanted to feel safe. No, I wanted to be with him.
The second he put the car in park, I climbed over the center console and straddled Cas.
“Cas, why did you walk away from me last night, this morning, whatever the hell time it was? Why did you leave me?”
I liked the way his hands gripped my hips, even if they were covered in the blood of a man that was going to make it impossible to work in this city again.
“Why? You’re asking why I had to walk away from you?”
The look on his face was something I’d never seen before. It almost looked vulnerable.
“Yes, Caspian. Why did you walk away?”
I placed my hands on his face like that was going to help me see into his gray soul.
“Because I fucking can’t love you. Not like you deserve, but I can’t stop myself. I fucking love you, and I can’t just walk away, and I should. The idea that you had somehow left this place without me noticing? Shit. I don’t think I’d felt such panic since that day I saw the innocent little girl you were all covered in someone’s blood.”
I know he said lots of words, but all I heard was one thing.
“You love me?”
His hands dug harder into my hips, and it wasn’t lost on me that the dress I wore wasn’t hiding shit.
