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“I was wondering where you were,” I said to her. I walked over to Alex, holding the plate with the sandwich and a soup bowl out to him. He took it, nodding to me. I moved to the tailgate of his truck, sitting on it.
King sat down on the ground where my feet dangled and stared at Alex.
“Yeah, buddy, that’s Alex.” I dropped my gaze to King, reaching down and patted his head.
“How would he know me?” Alex asked.
I looked up into his eyes through my lashes. The words were on the tip of my tongue.Because I told him about you. I cried for you. I slept in your clothes for years as I mourned the loss of you.
I sat there for a moment before I took a bite. “Who knows.”
Alex’s words still rang in my head, the hurt he caused me out on the sidewalk and the fact that he didn’t believe me.
I never thought I would have to convince this man of anything.
I had stopped trying to convince people to believe me at a young age. Alex was the first person to believe what I told him. Now, I was trying to convince him that what I said was the truth. I didn’t think he believed me yet, so my guard was still up.
When Alex didn’t say anything, I second guessed my presence. Maybe I needed to give him some space.
“I didn’t know my mom kept a journal.”
His words hit me hard. When we were kids, he never referenced her asmy mom. It was never possessive. It was always justMa,our Maordid you see that Mom. . . It felt like there was a wall there now.
I swallowed hard.
“I found them in her drawers when we were packing everything up.”
“Did you read them?”
I shook my head. “No.” I tried to find my words. “I opened them just to see what they were, and when I saw her handwriting, I closed them up.” I stared down at the plate in my lap, “She had gotten the diagnosis and was hospitalized shortly afterwards. I was packing her a bag and she asked me to make sure I grabbed her journal. So, I did. She wrote in it every day until she was in so much pain that she was medicated to sleep.” The memory lanced through me. Watching the strongest women I had ever knowndeteriorate into nothing was awful. I was glad Alex hadn’t seen his mother like that.
Alex closed the journal and picked up his own plate, eating the sandwich in two bites before bringing the bowl up to his lips and drinking the soup straight from it.
He still ate like we were starving. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. I may not know this man anymore, but the boy I did know shone through every so often.
“You mind if I stay and keep looking through these things?”
“You can do whatever you want, Alex.” I meant the words. Alex had a power that I never granted another human being. He could come and go as he pleased. He could walk into my life, make decisions, and I wouldn’t question his motives. The trust I had in this man even after all these years astounded me, but I knew in the marrow of my bones that he would never hurt me.
I looked back down to my plate. Normally I would have scarfed it down already, but I was eating slowly. A silent excuse to stay longer. Queen had taken up residence at his side again.
“It looks like Queen has taken a liking to you.” He glanced behind her. She raised her head, watching him watch her. “She doesn’t normally act that way to. . .” The words died on my lips.
“Strangers?” Alex said, his amber eyes on me for the first time since I walked in.
I looked away, not willing to acknowledge out loud that he was, in fact, a stranger.
“Well,” I said, sliding off the tailgate. He handed me his plate, and I got another glimpse of my name across his knuckles. A thrill ran through me. He had branded his body with my name. The ink looked fresh.
Questions surfaced but I bit them down, taking his plate from him. “I’ll make up the guest room for you. You can stay if you want. It’s up the stairs and to the left. The back door is unlocked.” I moved away from him, turning back and looking at Queen, “Come on, girl.” She looked from me to Alex before reluctantly getting up and following me.
CHAPTER 37
WREN
I hadn’t beenable to sleep. I listened hard, trying to hear the door open, but Alex hadn’t come in. I rolled over and pulled the sheet up under my neck, trying to shut my mind off long enough to fall asleep.
“Fuck it.” I kicked the sheets off and got out of bed.
