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CHAPTER 27
WREN
The next morning,after breakfast at Tony’s Diner, Jon took me to see Gloria and Alex. The tires of his car crunched under the gravel road, and I rolled down his window, letting the warm summer morning air into the car. It smelled like fresh cut grass, and I could hear the sprinklers on in the distance. He found a place to park and got out, rounding the car to open my door.
I had put on a forest-green sundress with sandals, thinking that Alex would love this dress on me. I wore a light amount of makeup, keeping today simple.
I was going to do my best not to ruin my makeup with the tears I was sure would fall. We quietly walked the path to a shaded area underneath a mature oak tree.
Jon smiled softly, handing me the flowers we had picked out for today.
“How you doing, Ma?” I said, placing the flowers in the permanent vase incorporated into her headstone. I took a water bottle from my purse and filled the vase up. I brushed some fallen leaves away from the base and picked a few weeds that were poking through.
“You picked a beautiful headstone,”Jon commented. He wasused to my routine now. Maintaining Gloria’s resting place was important to me. She took care of me without a second thought, and now I would take care of her, even in death.
I smiled at his words, wishing Alex had been here to help me with everything for his mother. Finding his father’s resting place had been hard on its own. Neither of them had ever brought me here before. I had to call every funeral home in town before someone finally found his resting place.
“Thank you.” I fought back tears as they clogged my throat.
Gloria died of lung cancer five years ago. We were so caught up in Alex’s court hearings that the diagnosis came too late, and there was nothing doctors could do but keep her comfortable. She didn’t want to fight it. Losing her husband so early in life, and then Alex, she spoke of death like it would be a kindness. She would get to see her boys again.
I looked to the right, at the bare space next to her.
“Has the state said anything about releasing Alex’s body?” Saying the words out loud had the tears spilling over.I knew the answer already, but I couldn’t help but ask.
“No, sweetheart.” He gentle placed his hand on my shoulder. “They still won’t release him to anyone except next of kin.”
Alex had committed suicide after he got news of his mom. Jon had been the only one allowed to visit him after his sentencing. Alex hadn’t taken well to prison. He had gotten into fights, thrown into solitary confinement for weeks on end. Then he got the news of his mother and hanged himself in his cell.
“The guilt was too much for him. What happened to you, then losing his mother. He blamed himself.”Jonathan’s words echoed in my mind.“You know he swore to protect you, and he felt like he failed you.”
“I know it’s been almost five years, but it’s still all so surreal,” I forced the words out, standing and wiping the tears away. “I keep hoping I’ll turn the corner, and he will just be there. With his big smile and his arms wide open like he was waiting on me.” Iwrapped my arms around myself, the emptiness still too much to handle.
“Shh. I know, honey.” He enveloped me in his arms, and I buried my head into his chest. “Alex wouldn’t want you to cry. He would be so proud of the life you have built. You know he’s up there cheering you on.”
I wasn’t a religious person. After their deaths, I tried to be. I tried to find reason. The universe took the two most important people away from me so close together. I had been angry for a long time. I was still angry, but I refused to be angry here. I just wanted to be grateful for them. Grateful for the life and safety they had given me.
If it wasn’t for Alex, Kevin would still be out there.
“I know.” I turned my head, looking at the empty plot next to his mother and father, which I had purchased for him as soon as I had the money. “I’m going to call the cemetery on Monday. Get a headstone made up for him. Even if I can’t lay him here, I want it to feel like they are all together,”I decide.
“Whatever you need, Wren, we will do whatever you need.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and gave me another squeeze. “You ready?”
I nodded and Jon guided me back to his car.
Jonathan had been my biggest support after their passing. Jon had lost his best friend too. We mourned the loss, finding comfort in the stories we recalled together. We had been there for each other.
He dropped me off at my car, having me promise to go out to dinner with him sometime this week before he headed off. I sat there for a minute, trying to compose myself.
My heart ached for Alex. I missed him so much that some days it was hard to get out of bed. I couldn’t work daily at Dan’s Construction anymore. Being there had me falling apart. Now, I worked part time. I went in on payroll days, got the checks made out and got out of there as soon as possible.
I stopped off at the bar some evenings and caught up with Gavin and Troy. They were still thick as thieves, but even they had a little less sparkle since Alex’s passing.
They had been so much support after everything.
After Kevin.
I shook my head, slapping the steering wheel. Nope, I wasn’t going to spiral today. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone, dialing the one person who could pull me out of any mood.
