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I held back though. It wasn’t until she started reaching for me that I started reaching for her too.
We had finished with the chores and cleaning up after dinner. I finished my homework out in the kitchen and came to find her.?
I read the book over her head. She had been reading a lot about plants. She would pick up two or three books and write things down in a notebook she kept.?On the page was a meadow with tiny flowers all over it. They hung upside down, like little bells.
“Why all the plant books?” I leaned to the side a bit to see her face.??
The book relaxed in her hand. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I won’t.” Now she really had my attention.??
She sighed, “When everything was happening with them, I used to pick flowers. Well, weeds really. Dandelions, and imagined that they were poisonous.” A small laugh escaped her. “I imaginedpoisoning them. I wanted them dead.” She picked the book back up, looking over the pages. “I guess I still like plants.” She tipped her head back to look at me.
“Have you ever done it?”
She was quiet before asking, “Done what?”
“Did you ever try to poison them with plants?”
She was silent, and I felt the weight of it.
“Would you think I was a bad person if I did?” She hedged the question.
Would she think I was a bad person if she knew I was the one who set the fire?
“No. They deserve to die.” The silence grew between us. I thought of telling her what I did, but instead I changed the topic.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked her.?
“What do you mean?” She put a torn piece of paper between the pages as her bookmark.??
“You barely ate any dinner.” Wren typically ate everything in sight. Tonight, she took about four bites of her food before calling it quits and holing up in our room.
“I’m just not feeling well.” Her head tipped farther back against my shoulder. I brought my hand up to her forehead like Ma had done to me to see if I was actually sick or faking it.
“You don’t feel warm.”??
“It’s my stomach. It just hurts.” She sighed heavily, adjusting her position slightly. “And my back has been killing me all day.” She handed me the book and I leaned down, setting it on the other pile of books by the bed.??
“It’s this shitty bed.” I’d had this bed my whole life. Wren rolled off my shoulder, moved down the bed, and hugged the wall. “Are you taking a nap?” We were supposed to go to the laundromat.
“I’m just so tired today.” She sighed again, her voice groggy.??
I stared at her, moved myself down the bed, and laid down next to her. I threw my arm over her waist and pulled her closer tome, nudging my leg between hers. She moved and adjusted until she got comfortable. Soon, her breathing leveled out.
I did my best not to move much. I wasn’t tired but tried to convince my body to rest next to her.??
I thought about her birthday last week and how happy she looked when Ma surprised us with small pieces of cake in the morning. We sanghappy birthdayto her, not worrying about anyone hearing us. Ma even brought her home an almost brand-new pair of shoes. You could see the tears in Wren’s eyes when Ma hugged her. Ma cried too.
I had grinned at both of them like a fool. Ma was happy, Wren was getting happy. Gaining weight and getting closer to looking like a sixteen-year-old girl rather than the shell of a person she was when she came to us.
What would have happened to her if we hadn’t met that day? Would I still be oblivious to her existence? The thought made me angry and choked me up. Wren meant so much to me in the span of the last five months.
I wasn’t sure how long I had dozed off, my arm still slung over Wren. My leg was still trapped between her legs. I rolled away from her carefully and stretched. I got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. As I was walking, I felt something cold and wet on my leg. I looked down at my black sweats. In the dim light of the hall, I couldn’t see anything. Once I was in the bathroom, I flipped the light on. Something shown on my pants. I touched the spot, and brought it up to my face it to see better. It shone red.
Blood.
“What the. . .?” I hurried back to our room. Wren was still sleeping, but that’s when I saw it.
