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I shake my head and sit at the edge of my bed in the new hotel room, then glance at the clock resting on my nightstand. It’s about the time that Mallory would waltz into my room, begging me to please her, and I stare at the door for a few moments as if I’m going to magically make her appear.
I’m not going to get that lucky.
The realization hits me like a physical blow. I’ve spent years building walls, keeping everyone at arm’s length. Now, Mallory’s absence has left a hole in those defenses, and I’m exposed in a way I never expected to be.
This is ridiculous. I can’t remember the last time I missed having a woman in my bed, yet that’s all I’ve been able to do when it comes to Mallory. I’ve imagined her laughing more times than I can count as I lay in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling, and it’s taken a lot of strength not to storm onto her floor of the hotel to demand she give me what I’m craving.
My hands are itching to touch her smooth skin, my fingers eager to trace the outlines of her breasts, and my tongue desperate to explore the dip in her neck that makes her tremble in response. I crave to feel the rapid beat of her heart against my own as I roam my hands over her frame, digging my fingers into her waist and pressing my lips wildly against hers.
Just the thought has my dick hardening.
This craving for Mallory goes beyond physical desire. It’s seeped into every corner of my being, challenging everything I thought I knew about myself. When did she become so essential to my world? And more importantly, what am I willing to risk keeping her in it?
Tomorrow is another show night, which means I’ll be able to eye her from a distance without getting too close — that’s the onlyreprieve I’ve got. If touching her isn’t an option, looking at her is going to have to satisfy these urges clawing their way inside of me.
A rapid knock sounds on my door, and for a second, my heart leaps out of my chest, causing me to bolt upright.Is that her?She would’ve texted me, but maybe it’s a surprise visit because she couldn’t stand being away from me a second longer, either.
I smooth my hair back, then take a deep breath before sauntering over to the door and pulling it open.
Evan greets me on the other side, my heart deflating in the process, and he glances over my shoulder with an eyebrow raised. “Mind if I come in?”
“Uh, sure,” I mumble while stepping aside to allow him to pass by me.
When I shut the door, he spins around and crosses his arms in front of himself. “Alright, what’s going on?”
“You’re the one who came to my room, man. Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
He shakes his head and sinks onto the edge of my bed, then looks me in the eye with a stern frown. “No, I mean, what’s going on with you and Mallory?”
I blink, my mouth popping open slightly, then I chuckle. “I got no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, man, it’s me you’re talking to,” Evan says, his voice a mix of concern and knowing. “Mia and I spent a good amount of time sneaking around. I recognize the signs.”
I feel exposed like Evan can see right through me. “It’s not... we’re not...”
“Nothing.”
“Jace,” he interrupts, “whatever it is, you need to get a handle on it. If I’ve noticed, Brent won’t be far behind.”
The mention of Brent’s name sends a chill down my spine. I’m not just risking my heart here - I’m risking a friendship, the band, everything.
As of right now, I’m not lying. She won’t respond to me, barely glances in my direction when we’re in the same vicinity, and I might as well be just another stranger to her. It hurts, but I can’t exactly fault her.
Maybe it was the night of stress relief I planned for her.Was it too much?She seemed to enjoy it. I remember detecting a small hint of emotion in her eyes, but maybe it wasn’t what she had expected from me with our agreement on the line.
“There’s nothing to be suspicious of.”
Evan lifts from his spot on the bed and walks past me, but before walking out of the room, he glances at me over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you seem different with her, and I kinda like it.”
“Kinda?”
He smirks. “Well, we can’t get too ahead of ourselves here. You’re still a pain in my ass like the other two.”
“Whatever,” I mutter. “Thanks for stopping by. Glad we had this chat.”
“Night, man.”
When he exits and shuts the door behind him, I’m left staring at the space where Mallory should be standing, wondering when I’ll be seeing her there again. This can’t be it, right? Maybe I need to show her this is more to me now, that I don’t just want her in my bed every night.
