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Reality, and all its complications, will be waiting when the lights go down."
The thought of her gratitude directed at someone else twists something in my chest. I admit it’s selfish, but deep down, I want her to know it was me. I want her to see that I care, even if I shouldn’t.
***
Donny is the first one to walk off stage, waving excitedly at the crowd in front of us while I patiently wait my turn. Since Brent is the lead singer, he’s always the last one to walk off the stage, and Evan normally heads off before me. A few minutes later, I’m stepping through the curtain and my eyebrows raise when I see Mallory standing there.
My heart does a painful flip as Mallory rushes past me. For a split second, I thought - she was coming to me. But of course, it’s Brent she embraces. I watch, a bystander to a family moment, feeling like an intruder in more ways than one.
He glances at her, confused by the gesture, and she pulls away with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“Uh, you’re welcome?”
“You have no idea how much you saved my life by getting the radio host here to interview Sweet Surrender,” she whispers.
Brent nods. “Yeah, but that wasn’t me.”
Mallory frowns. “You’re the only one I said something to. Who else could it have been?”
He glances at me, a frown on his face, but shrugs his shoulders in response. “Who knows, maybe Carmen overheard us and took it upon herself.”
This is going to raise even more questions for him, but seeing that smile on Mallory’s face makes everything worth it. I could tell she was stressing over things, and I’m glad that I could take that off her shoulders.
“Either way, thank you,” she says. “Where’s your wife at?”
Brent smiles brightly, just like he always does at the mention of Julia, and chuckles. “She wasn’t feeling up for it tonight. She’s been lying in bed since we got here.”
“Think she’ll feel up for a visitor? We’re on this thing together, and I hate that I haven’t been able to hang out with her.”
“Are you kidding? She’d love a visit from you, me and the guys are probably heading out for a bit, anyway.”
This is news to me, and clearly to the others as well, judging by their raised brows, but we don’t object to this idea. It’s been a while since we went out on the town, especially in a city that we’re touring, and I think it could be fun. Maybe I can find a pleasant woman who doesn’t want more than to get in bed with a rockstar, and she can help get my mind off the woman who’s off-limits to me.
Brent can’t imagine the thoughts running through my head about Mallory. This is the best way to prevent that from happening.
The guilt gnaws at me, a constant, gnawing ache in my chest. Every time I look at Brent, I see not just my best friend, but the trust I'm betraying. He's been my brother in all but blood, the one constant in this chaotic celebrity world. And Mallory... God, Mallory. She's the forbidden fruit I can't stop craving, the siren song I can't unhear.
I'm torn between the loyalty that's defined my life and a desire that threatens to consume me. Each smile, each casual touch from Brent feels like a knife twisting in my gut. And every glimpse of Mallory sets my blood on fire, making me question everything I thought I knew about myself.
I'm terrified of the choice looming before me - not because I don't know what I'll choose, but because I'm afraid I do. And the cost of that choice might be more than I can bear.
But even as I think about it, I know it’s a lie. The taste of her lips, the feel of her skin - it’s burned into my memory. I’m playing with fire, and I know I should walk away. But like a moth to a flame, I can’t seem to stay away from her.
“I’ll head out, then,” Mallory says, barely looking at me as she nods to the other guys. “See you guys later, and make sure to tell Carmen to thank you for me, okay?”
“Sure thing, sis,” Brent says, then waits until Mallory disappears before narrowing his eyes on me. “You still gonna act like you have no idea what the hell is going on?”
“Okay, okay,” I mutter. “You’re right. I was the one who talked to Carmen.”
“There is a reason for that?”
“She looked really upset earlier, so I figured I’d help her out. It’s not a big deal.”
Evan chuckles, then clears his throat. “We heading out?”
Brent looks as though he wants to say more but nods and decides against it. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Donny and Evan walk ahead of us, giving Brent the opportunity to fall into step next to me, and he clears his throat. “Thanks for doing that, man. She won’t admit it, but I can tell she’s got a lot on her mind, and it’s messing with her work.”
