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I think he’s slowly beginning to see me for who I actually am, slowly beginning to value my voice, who I am as an individual.
And yet…that isn’t love.
I know that.
I can tell myself over and over again when he touches me, when he makes my body sing, that thisislove, that he does love me—but that doesn’t make it true.
The only people coming after me are my family, and I just walked away from them.
Nikolai laughs again, the cruelty of its caustic sound sending arrows deep into the flesh of my being. I dip my head and turn back toward the office across the hallway. The darkened reception area separates the private office from the main door of the suite, light from the hallway beyond casting a feeble glow over the shapes of furniture. I try to tune Nikolai out, to concentrate instead on the emblem of the other company’s door. It looks familiar, but I can’t quite place it.
Nikolai moves quickly. Too quickly.
In a matter of seconds, he has me pressed against the glass, crushing and rattling the blinds between my body and the window. His body presses against me, and I can feel him…every bit of him…his erection hardening and lengthening against the small of my back.
I want to vomit.
Choking back the bile, I shove against him, the movement futile. “What are you doing? Stop—”
“Remember that favor you owe me?” He grunts, pushing me back against the glass. It rattles beneath the impact.
The glass is cold against my face, and his touch burns. The blinds slice into my cheek as I jerk against him, his long fingers fumbling across my stomach and toward the band of my jeans. I can smell the tobacco from the cigarette he smoked earlier as his hot breath fans across my neck.
“No—nonono, get off—”
Panic spears through me, hot and sharp. Even though I had been nervous the first couple of times with Ivan, a primitive part of me wanted his possession…craved it. I wanted to be touched. I wanted him to touch me.
Everything about this feels like poison. It runs through my veins like wildfire, burning and searing and scarring me from the inside out.
This can’t be happening. This isn’t supposed to happen.
“Ivan—” I don’t realize his name has escaped me until Nikolai pushes my face roughly into the blinds.
“You’ll be calling my name in a minute.”
“Nikolai, please—stop—”
My pleas go unheeded. He tears at my shirt, giving up when he gets it over my shoulders, and moves on to the bra beneath. Pushing it up and over my breasts, he claws at them roughly with his one free hand, squeezing and pinching.
I howl in fury and fear, twisting away from his grip.
He laughs, smacking at my hands when they hit out at him ineffectually.
I fight, punching and kicking back against him, but he is stronger than I am. He jerks my arms above my head, pinning me to the window with one hand shackled around my wrists. His knee in the small of my back holds me prisoner, as his other hand rips at my clothing in a violent motion, forcing my jeans over my hips and to my ankles. He steps on them between my legs with his other foot, holding me securely in place, pinned like a butterfly to a specimen board.
His hand fumbles between our bodies, searching with greedy fingers for my entrance, and I can’t get my legs closed, can’t keep him from touching me with eager brutality. A whimper I barely recognize as my own escapes, and I redouble my efforts, shrieking and bucking when I feel him, bared now, position himself.
Swiftly, casually, he knocks my head into the glass. “Shut up, you stupid bitch.”
Blood smears the glass, a trickle carving a path into the tears on my cheeks. “He’ll kill you…” I murmur, my vision hazy. “He’ll slice you into pieces.”
He laughs. “He’ll have to catch me first.”
His penis probes against me, at that place only Ivan has ever visited, ever touched, and I close my eyes.
I’m not here. This isn’t me.
“What…?” Suddenly, he stops and pulls fractionally away from me—thank you, Blessed Virgin—his attention caught on something beyond the window. I struggle to focus, dimly catching movement in the hallway beyond the lobby door. There are shapes…two of them…I squint until I can make them out.
