AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I haven’t quite figured out what, but I have worked out that I’d rather be talking to Evie about what happened between us than rehashing things with Dakota. I don’t know if that’s because the hurt with Dakota is deeper and harder to forgive, or if it’s because making things right with Evie is more important to me now.
MaybeEvieis more important to me now.
That thought settles over me like a warm blanket. I should curl up and enjoy the feeling. Instead, I wrestle with it, twisting and turning the thought into a tangled knot. I shouldn’t feel a need to be faithful to Dakota. To put her first. But old habits are hard to break.
When the food is done, I plate it and carry it to Dakota. She offers me a quick glance when I set it in front of her, then raises a one-minute finger and goes back to typing on her phone. I sit across from her and wait a few minutes for her to finish. Then I give up. I’m too hungry to wait for her to respond to emails that can wait until morning.
“Sorry. Had to do a few little things.” She sets her phone on the table, face up, where she can still watch it. I’ve finished half my dinner.
“So, back to Zach.” I push my plate away. It’s good, but I’m still craving the dish I’d planned to order at dinner with Evie. “He yelled at you?” Somehow knowing that is all it takes to feel less betrayed.
“What didn’t he say is a better question.” She takes a small, polite bite, and I can’t tell if she likes the food or not. I never can while she’s eating. “He called me every name in the book and said I’d ruined his relationship with you.”
My mouth twitches. The only time Zach loses his temper is when someone does something to his family. He’s very protective. He is the oldest, but only by ten minutes, so I don’t need his protection. At least, I didn’t think I did.
“I see you trying not to smile.” Dakota takes another bite and sets down her fork. “You can let it out. I deserved every name he called me. He didn’t use one I hadn’t called myself already.”
I wish I could conjure another smile, but Dakota’s taken it from me. For months I’ve thought of a thousand things I’d say to her if I ever saw her again. Now I can only think of one. “You know you broke my heart.”
She nods slowly and reaches her hand across the table. Her fingers are cold when she takes mine. “That’s why I’m here. To say how sorry I am. I did everything wrong. I thought I could live here because I loved you, but then everything felt so… claustrophobic. I couldn’t breathe anymore. I panicked and ran.”
I’ve imagined this moment more than once. Dakota apologizing, admitting she’d hurt me. I thought I’d have a harder time forgiving her, but when she says the words,can you forgive me?I don’t even have to think about it.
“Of course.” I nod.
Her eyes widen, and her whole face lifts into a smile. “Really? I’ve wanted to say that for so long, almost since the moment I left, but I had to do it in person. To your face. I couldn’t take the coward’s way out a second time.”
“I appreciate that.” I smile and let my eyes really meet hers for the first time since even before she left me. For the first time in years, I see her.
“We could split our time between here and New York,” she says slowly, carefully. “If you wanted to try again.”
I study her face, as familiar to me as it ever has been, but I can’t remember what it was I found so beautiful that I followed her to Salt Lake, then New York City. There was a time I would have followed her even further, to the ends of the earth.
But that time has passed.
“I don’t think either of us really wants that, Dakota. Do you?”
Her face falls, and I wonder if she’s feeling the same hurt I’ve carried for months. But she quickly schools her emotions and squeezes my hand. “You know I will always love you, right?” Her words prick my skin the same way the cold lake does when I dive in on a hot summer day. There’s pain and relief at the same time.
“I know.”
This is goodbye.
And I’m okay with it.
“You’ll always have a place in my heart, too.” I cup both her hands in mine. They’re still cold. “I don’t regret the years we had together.”
“They were good years. The only thing I’d change is how they ended.”
I tip my head back and forth. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind erasing the memory of Georgia breaking the news to me that you were on your way to Florence when you should have been on your way down the aisle.”
Dakota drops her head, and we both laugh. Not the happy kind. The bittersweet kind that hurts and heals at the same time.
“I really am so sorry.”
“I know.” I press my hands around hers, then let them go.
“Speaking of Florence,” she glances out the window where snow still falls in gentle but persistent flakes. “I’m staying there tonight. I should get going before the roads get really bad.”
