AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I came here alone, I have to protect myself,” I whisper.
He bends in, almost kissing me. “You shouldn’t have to. That’s my job.”
“I’ve never used it.”
“Where did it come from?”
The memory of the night Jensen gave me the gun is so far away tonight. “It’s Jensen’s. I asked him for it before the Garrisons took me away.”
He bends, kissing the inside of my thigh, right between where the twisted rags cut into my skin, above the cold barrel of the gun.
My entire body tingles. Every fiber of me is alight, like warm sunshine runs through my veins.
And I remember why I fell for him—because he feels like a hundred years of living. Dirty, messy, complicated, with lust and joy and grief and the kind of pain that comes from growth. He feels like the life I dream about having.
“Spread your legs,” he says.
I hesitate.
“Spread them,” he repeats, his voice cracking.
He’s desperate, hungry. I obey, startled by this side of him. I tasted it at the swimming hole, when he fucked me on the bank. Now, it’s back in full force.
My spine arches as my thighs spread. I wonder distantly if it’ll hurt when he pushes inside me, like it did when he took my virginity. It has been so long since he had me last.
His hand slides up my other thigh and pulls my panties down. My legs start to clench, but he stops me with his head, knocking them back.
“No,” he says firmly.
Hesitantly, I spread my legs. It’s not like he hasn’t seen my pussy before. My heart pounds so hard, I feel it in the base of my throat, like the storm in my chest is trying to be let out.
His jaw tightens. His eyes go dark. He falls over me, but this time, he doesn’t stop himself when his mouth hovers over mine.
There’s a second, a half breath, where we still have time to stop.
Then, his mouth meets mine, kissing me so hard, I can’t breathe. The dull sheen over the world that fell into place when I married Thomas evaporates. Our bright colors meld like the northern lights, dancing on my tongue as his taste sparks in my mouth.
He kisses me like he’s starved, and I have to pull back to take a breath. He follows my mouth with his until I push him with a hand on his chest. Our gazes lock. He’s wearing that intense expression, the one he gets when we’re past the point of no return.
“Fuck it, Diane,” he says hoarsely.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
WESTIN
Someday, I’ll tell this story and explain myself. I’ll say she wasn’t really his wife. They won’t really believe me. Who does when the details are this strange? I’ll say I was drunk in love. They’ll look at us and say it worked out in the end anyway. At some point, I’ll stop trying to justify my sins to my great-grandchildren.
Life doesn’t exist in black and white.
Maybe this is adultery.
Maybe it isn’t.
God as my witness, I don’t know. I’m not the man I hoped I was, not even close, but I think unfortunately I might be the man my father raised.
Tonight, I don’t care.
Desire is so much stronger than anything else. In my book, Thomas gave her permission. If he didn’t want her fucking around, he should have held himself to the same standard.
