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Doubt begins to fester, seeping into the cracks of my mind. What if I pushed too hard, moved too fast? What if I’ve lost her for good?
The fear that goes through me at the thought is paralyzing.
Late one sleepless night, whiskey burning in my veins, I break. My fingers tremble as I type out the words I swore I'd never say.
I'm sorry, Lil. I never meant to put this on you, to risk what we have. Just tell me we're going to be okay. That I haven't lost you. I’ll try to go back to being just friends if that’s what you want, but I can’t lose you.
I stare at the screen until the letters blur, thumb hovering over send.
I can’t send it.
Every instinct screams to fix this, to fight for her. But I can't be that selfish. Slowly, I delete the text, each press of my finger an agony.
I hurl my glass against the wall, watching it shatter. The anger drains out of me in a rush, leaving me hollow. Defeated, I slump back on the couch, head in my hands.
Loving her is the easiest thing I've ever done. But if I've ruined us because I couldn't keep that love locked away... that's a guilt I'll carry forever. All I can do is hope that fifteen years of friendship is stronger than one night of passion. Strong enough to bring her back to me, in whatever way she's able to be in my life.
Anything's better than losing her completely.
ten
?. . .?
Lily
I stareout at the shimmering lake, wrapped in the emerald embrace of towering pines. Our initials are still etched into the weathered bark of our tree, faded but indelible like the bond we share. Memories flood back, sparking a revelation that rocks me to my core.
It makes sense now, why I could never truly give myself to anyone else. Why I always found something wrong with every guy I ever dated.
They weren’thim.
I've always loved Jake. Not just as my best friend, but with a deep, aching desire I never dared name. Fear held me captive, terrified that by reaching for more, I'd lose the one person who knows me better than I know myself.
My pulse races as I hear the crunch of footsteps behind me. I turn to see Jake emerging from the shadowed forest path, his chiseled face a mask of anguish.
"Lily..." My name is a tormented whisper on his lips. "I had to find you. To see you, even if it's the last time."
His pain pierces me like shards of glass. I take a step towards him, my voice trembling. "Jake, I could never shut you out. You're a part of me."
Emotions war across his handsome features—desperation, longing, regret. "I've been such a fool, Lily. Hiding what's in my heart, convinced I'd ruin everything between us."
Tears sting my eyes as understanding dawns. He loves me too. Has always loved me, just as I've loved him.
I close the distance between us, gently cupping his face in my hands. "You could never ruin us, Jake. We've been through too much, are too deeply connected."
His eyes search mine, a crackling intensity in their green depths. I see the moment he realizes the truth. That I'm his, heart and soul, just as he is mine.
Jake pulls me flush against his hard body, strong arms banding around me like steel. "I love you, Lily," he rasps against my hair. "I've loved you my entire life. I just never dreamed you might feel the same."
My fingers curl into his shirt, anchoring me as a wave of pure joy crashes over me. "I do feel the same, Jake. I just didn’t realize it until now, and I’m sorry for running. It was just…so overwhelming and kinda scary."
He pulls back just enough to meet my gaze, his expression fierce with possessiveness. "You never need to be afraid of this, of us. I'm yours, baby. Always have been."
I nod, my lips trembling on a shaky exhale. "And I'm yours. I don't want to waste another second pretending this connection between us isn't everything."
His mouth claims mine in a searing kiss, telling me without words that he intends to spend the rest of his life showing me exactly whateverythingmeans.
I surrender to the heated slide of his lips, the intoxicating taste of him, as my heart soars with the knowledge that this is just the beginning for us.
