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After he nods, I reach the liar in no time.
He grabs my wrists while I lose it. “You brokehim. You broke him, and then you made me fall in love with you! Why did you let us keep going? Why did youHIREme?”
For the first time in my life, I can’t contain the waterworks. They fall and they fall, all the tears I’ve been carrying. The screaming lady has cried enough of my tears. Now it’s time I cry my own. It doesn’t stop, blurring my vision.
“Why did you tease me and—”
“Because it was harmless! There was no fucking harm at first, Gemma—then, fuck! Suddenly, everything changed, and I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose you.” He dries my tears with his thumb while I shake my head. “I didn’t hire you. Katherine did. I was so busy that week I only did a background check after you started. I might’ve kept you out of guilt, because it was the least I could do, but then you proved your worth.”
“Is that why you pay me more?”
“The pay is fair for your education. Stop selling yourself short.”
“Damon.” I push my wrists against his chest with his hands still wrapped around them. “How could you do this to us? I just want to know what was going through your mind.”
I see nothing but fear in his eyes. He swallows and tries to bring me in for a hug but I refuse. The electricity I feel when he grabs my hand afterward is out of this world. The chill hits me in the deepest marrow of my bones.
Lust from dust.
“The night we went out with everyone when you first started, you FaceTimed your ex-boyfriend, and there was this girl in the background.”
When he looks down at me, he’s pleading, his eyes asking for what his mouth never will—for forgiveness.
“You looked so sad, Gemma. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t pursue you, but I wouldn’t stop you either. But you know what? Maybe that’s a lie too. Maybe I did want to pursue you subconsciously.”
I leave the warmth of his hand and reach the living room, where I pace. For the first time, I look like drunk Damon. I wish I were drunk, because then I wouldn’t feel this crippling need to drop to my knees and curl up to survive.
“Were you ever going to tell me? If I hadn’t found out, Damon, would you have told me?”
A snicker leaves his mouth as he thumbs his jawline. “You found the diary, didn’t you? It’s not like I tried hard to hide it.”
God, I want to hurt him right now.“Would. You. Have. Told. Me?”
“The truth?” he asks, and I nod. “I don’t know,” he says so low I process his words a few times before registering them.
“Wow ... and here I thought you were an angel who saved me. Th-the guy in my dreams was you, wasn’t he? The guy at the hospital—was he you?”
“Save you? You think I saved you? Gemma, you could’ve been seriously injured. You could’ve died when your bike skidded off the road! And I protected her.”
“I could’ve been seriously injured? Damon, it’s not about me—it’s about Harvey! What about his life?”
He lets out a laugh—raw and sharp like the tip of a knife. “Your life will always trump anyone else’s. Always.”
Then his eyes guiltily avoid mine.
“Nothing would’ve reversed his paralysis. The damage was done. So, I did the next best thing. I donated through charitable contributions, and I’ll admit, some I anonymously donated to his parents. I came to the hospital that night to make sure youwere okay. I’m lucky it was a smaller hospital—it was easier to access without being seen.”
Oh, my God.This entire time the donations Harvey received were from Damon? It takes me a minute to wrap my head around it as I piece everything together.
“Wouldn’t donations make it suspicious?”
He shrugs. “I gave small sums at a time under various accounts. There’s no piece of evidence tying us to that night.” Shame crosses his features.
“You told me once you sold your bike. Was it after the accident?”
“No, it was way before everything happened.”
“Why did you bring me back to a track if you knew my past? What if I would’ve been triggered by it?”
