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While my dad leaves to speak with the nurse, Hen kisses my forehead. “I’ll come check on you soon. Everything will be alright, Gemma.” He gives me a tight smile, and his words rub me the wrong way.
What’s wrong with Harvey?
I might be a floor or a few rooms away from him, but deep down I can sense his suffering. I know there’s something they’re not telling me.
Gia sits on the bed next to me and sighs as she holds on to her stomach, watching Henrik leave. It hurts a bit when I scoot over to let her have space, but I imagine it’ll take a few more days, maybe more, before I feel normal again.
“If only I was into fuckboys,” she jokes, making me chuckle, which turns into a wince. “We could’ve dated brothers if I wasn’t madly in love with my husband.”
I finish my sub and my drink in record time. The carbs. The sugar. My body’s happy for the intrusion.
“I want to see Harv.”
She nods, holding my hand. “You’ll see him. They had said a few days; you should be discharged tomorrow. You kept complaining that your head hurt yesterday. Your CT scan showed no swelling, but they wanted to keep you a while longer to make sure.”
“Where’s my phone?”
She points to a small table in the back. “Harvey can’t text right now, Gem.”
I feel a massive fireball taking refuge in my throat. “What did he get surgery for? Is he okay?” I’m pleading for answers, whispering my questions in fear that I’ll break.
There’s this anxiety inside me, building momentum, begging to be set free.
It rises and rises deep within when Gia says, “I need to explain something to you, but you can’t freak out... nothing is conclusive yet.”
I swallow.
It’s as if my lungs will tear apart as I take deep breaths, unsure if it’s the result of my injury or my mind ready to reel out of control.
I don’t look at my sister. I just hear her breaths and feel the sweat in the palm of her hand.
“Tell me,” I plead.
“H-he injured his spinal cord. Henrik said... Hold on, he texted it to me.” She checks her text messages and begins reading aloud. “Basically, they did a few surgeries for decompression of the nerves and vertebrae to relieve any pressure on his spinal cord. They also made sure there’s no fracture or anything weakening his spinal cord... and they had to fix something in his left shoulder. . .”
I can almost feel the moment my brain explodes with a million questions, but I refrain, hoping she’ll say more, knowing if I speak all hell will break loose.
She puts her phone away and holds my hand, as if she can see my frantic breathing. I’m hearing her talk, but all I can do is stare at the hospital wall in an attempt to remain calm.
“When he first woke up, he couldn’t feel some parts of his legs... injury to the lumbar nerves, I think they said L1 or L2... incomplete damage. . .”
No. No!
I let go of her hand to grip the sheets instead.
“Gemma... I’m so sorry... they’re still testing the extent of his paralysis... He has control of his arms and his torso... and some nerve feeling in both of his legs—”
Paralysis.
I block her out. The nurse comes to check on my vital signs, but I hear none of his words.
Harvey.Paralyzed.
“Gem? Can you hear me?”
I close my eyes, controlling the gigantic feeling in the middle of my throat. Because I want tocry.
Leave me alone. Don’t talk to me,please.
