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The happiness she had once had.
Happiness which now—after one electric night of kissing—seemed to be back with a vengeance.
As Janice sowed seeds into the bare earth, she imagined herself planting magic beans instead of the sensory plants, each one promising new adventures and wondrous experiences.
"Imagine climbing up a beanstalk into the clouds," she mused aloud, picturing the fantastical world that awaited her. "Maybe there would be a land filled with horses and endless meadows for them to roam."
As she dug another hole for a plant, Janice felt a breeze tousle her red hair, gently tickling her cheeks. It reminded her of Rusty's tender touch, and she felt a surge of warmth in her heart. She knew she had been hard on herself in the past, but being here, surrounded by nature and rekindling her feelings for Rusty, she felt like she was finally finding some peace.
"Hey there, Janice," Chuck called out from across the garden, snapping her back to reality. "How's it going with those plants?"
"Great!" she replied, her cheeks flushing slightly as she realized how easily she'd become lost in her daydream. "I'm almost finished over here."
"Good to hear," he said, giving her an encouraging nod. "Keep up the good work."
Janice smiled, feeling a sense of pride in her efforts. But more than anything, the thought of Rusty's loving embrace and the possibility of further exploring their connection filled her with an unshakable sense of optimism. Rusty had said last night that they couldn’t be together—but the way he had kissed her had made it obvious.
He still loved her.
And she loved him.
And where there was love, there was always hope.
She looked down at a handful of brown seeds in her hands. “These seeds? Why they're magical fairy dust plant seeds? Ohyeah, the flowers squirt out magic fairy dust! So everyone who walks past it will be able to fly!” She giggled again, then flapped her arms up and down as she pretended to fly around the garden.
“Woah there, little one,” said Chuck laughing. “Watch you don’t drop those seeds all over the place.”
“Oops!” said Janice. “Sorry, Chuck. I got a little carried away.”
Chuck smiled. “I’m glad you’re having fun, but don’t forget to focus on getting those seeds planted. We need this garden to bring joy to as many Littles as possible.”
Janice blushed, feeling suddenly sheepish. “Yes, you’re right. I need to concentrate. I’ll try harder.” She knew Chuck hadn’t been telling her off, but for some reason, she felt extremely guilty. She was reminded of painful memories from her childhood, when her father would chastise her for her flights of fancy, dismissing them as childish nonsense. She suddenly worried that Chuck might see her in the same light and decide that she didn't belong at the ranch after her trial period.
“Did Rusty tell you about how I helped Snickers yesterday?” asked Janice, trying to prove how helpful she was so that Chuck didn’t think she was a slacker.
“He did,” replied Chuck. “It's very impressive, Janice. I've heard of equine physiotherapy, and I love the idea of having a massage expert here on the ranch. But I want us to stay in the moment. life at the ranch means we all need to pitch in with lots of different jobs, so let’s keep our minds on this community garden right now, eh?”
“Right,” said Janice, looking at the ground as Chuck walked away. Under her breath, she chanted: “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
"Everything okay, Janice?" Rusty's concerned voice broke through her spiraling thoughts. He stood behind her, his hazel eyes filled with compassion.
She jumped to her feet, brushing the earth off her jeans as she looked around at Rusty in surprise. Had he been watching her while she worked? She hadn’t even seen him here.
"Of course," she replied with a brisk nod, trying to hide her vulnerability.
"Are you sure?" Rusty pressed, clearly not convinced. "You don't have to pretend with me, you know."
She appreciated Rusty saying that, but she didn't want to burden him with her insecurities. Last night, he had seemed truly attracted to her. He might not feel that way for long if he saw how messed up she really was inside.
"Honestly, I'm fine," she insisted, putting on her best brave face.
Rusty studied her for a moment before nodding slowly. "Alright, if you say so. Just remember, I'm here for you if you ever need to talk."
"Thank you, Rusty," she said softly, touched by his genuine concern.
With one last reassuring smile, Rusty turned and walked away, leaving Janice to her work. As she continued planting, she found herself wishing she had told Rusty the truth. He knew about her insecurities, back when they were together.
So, when Chuck told her it was time to take a break, she decided to be brave. She left the other Littles and went over to the stables, looking for Rusty. He wasn’t in the stables, though she saw the table still set up from their last therapy session. The wildflowers had wilted in the vase on the crate and she hoped that wasn’t a bad omen.
