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Purple Puppy:Says who?
Orchid Mantis:Pervy isn’t what you came here looking for.
Purple Puppy:Well, you got me there.
Purple Puppy:Do you want to know how I picture you?
Orchid Mantis:Actually, I really do.
Purple Puppy:Not old… but older. Maybe forty or fifty. And I bet you’re super fit and health conscious, which means you’re in better shape than me even though you’re older than me. Stone-cold fox with abs and starting to gray but it looks great on you. Total silver fox.
Orchid Mantis:It’s cute how you’re still convinced I’m older.
Purple Puppy:Oh, come on. Don’t be so modest about it. You’re hot still and you know it.
Ah, that gets me to chuckle.
Purple Puppy:So, how close was I? 100%? 110%??
Orchid Mantis:Way off. Way, way off.
Orchid Mantis:Much younger, for starters. Not what I would consider super fit, but still okay? Average, I guess?
Purple Puppy:Dad bod?
Orchid Mantis:No, haha. Maybe like one step up from that. Ahhh… brother’s best friend, who’s nothing extraordinary but always there. Started off as the boy next door.
Purple Puppy:Somehow, this has gotten much better than I ever imagined.
And the blushing emoji.
Purple Puppy:Okay, so maybe I was way off on the rest, but I know this much will be right, so here goes. You’re most definitely a classic gentleman. The type who wants to go on dates and appreciates someone holding the door for you. And if you sent me flowers, I would not at all take offense since I’m a sap, too. I’d write you a handwritten letter in exchange, saying how much I appreciate your gesture and our relationship. Then include two more pages about my unbridled passions and yearning. And you’d be so moved by the gesture, you’d tell me how sweet I am all over again.
I was right. He’s the one. Sigh.
Orchid Mantis:Forget how far off the first guess was. That one was perfect.
Orchid Mantis:You know what? I want you to call sometime.
Purple Puppy:I’m not so sure I want to pony up for a premium account.
Purple Puppy:Not that I’m broke.
Purple Puppy:Okay, I am broke. But I’m also not trying to be flaky, nor am I attempting to weasel any money out of you.
Orchid Mantis:No video-chatting nonsense. Normal, over the phone conversation. I think it would be nice to hear your voice sometime. And audio calls in the app are free, so you have no excuse.
Purple Puppy:…
Purple Puppy:… okay
Purple Puppy:For some reason I’m still waiting for you to turn out like other guys. Like you say that you want to talk, but really you mean sex.
Orchid Mantis:Well, certainly not the first time we talk. You need to court me a bit more if you want that out of me.
Purple Puppy:Ahaha. Okay.
Purple Puppy:This is why I like talking to you so much. You have a great personality and you’re not afraid to use it.
