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Orchid Mantis:Fine. I’ll tell you.
Orchid Mantis:I’ve never really thought of myself as gay even though I’ve always preferred men.
(Killing men, also, but I’ll leave that part out.)
Orchid Mantis:Mostly because even with men, I can’t get into sex normally.
Purple Puppy:Normally meaning there’re exceptions or meaning the sex has to be abnormal?
Orchid Mantis:Probably a bit of both, if we’re being totally honest.
My phone starts to ring in my hand, so I hit the accept button. I can’t even manage a greeting right now. Will hasn’t given me much and I need to gauge his response first.
Thankfully, Will skips the greeting and gets right to the point. “Cas, be honest with me, okay? Am I an exception for you?”
“Yeah,” I admit.
Will bites off a hiss of obvious pleasure. “That is so fuckinghot.”
“Doesn’t feel that way for me,” I huff.
“And whatdoesit feel like?”
“I don’t know. A lot of things. Mildly frustrating. Isolating. Embarrassing. But also, right somehow? Like there’s no point in fighting what comes naturally. Feels that way with you, too. Closest I’ve ever come to normal, I suppose.”
Will pauses for too long, making my guts twist. “You do realize that’s not totally abnormal, right?”
“Um…” Not really, no. I’m not so sure what normal should be, only that I’m not it. “How… do you mean?”
“Okay, so, there’s a lot more nuance to sexuality and attraction than straight or gay.”
“Yeah, I know. You already told me you’re not biphobic, but that’s not the case here.”
“Cas, there’s nothing wrong with being asexual or whatever. You don’t have to beat around the bush.”
“I’m… not?”
“Fucking hell,” he mutters. “Look, I’m not trying to label you or anything. I just don’t want you thinking you’re alone. Other people are like this, too.”
“It never occurred to me there was a word for it. Never mind that other people might be the same way.”
“There are. Way back when I first began dating, my first serious boyfriend was demisexual. It’s not completely unheard of.”
“And what is that, exactly?”
“They don’t experience sexual attraction unless they form an emotional connection.”
“That… uh… might explain a few things, actually.”
“No wonder you can’t get into fucking yourself without me, baby.” And despite the lust dripping in his voice, he manages to stay so sweet somehow. “Do you remember what I told you?”
“You’ve told me a lot of things,” I chuckle.
“How I’m a possessive freak who wants complete control over someone? And now you’re basically saying that aside from me, you’re not able to muster any sort of attraction to anyone.” Will takes a deep breath. “And you told me you want someone entirely to yourself, so much so you’d do anything to keep them focused on you.”
His arousal makes his voice deep and gravelly and… I start palming my swelling cock. Happens every damn time. Every time with him, that is.
“So, basically, I give you somethingonlyIcan do for you, which means you’ll have a level of reliance on meonlyyoucan offer. You feed my fixation and it’sexactlywhat yours needs.”
