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“I don’t want to punch you, Jax. I’m not letting you off that easily.” He leaned forward, his gaze hard and unyielding. “I never judged the way you were with women. Never cared because you weren’t hurting anyone, and you were always clear with them about where you stood. And Ineverworried about Poppy’s crush on you because she was theonewoman in the world I trusted you not to touch. The one youpromisedme you’d never touch.”
I rolled my lips over my teeth and let his disappointment hit me like a tidal wave.
“I don’t know what happened with you two that night, and Ireallydon’t want to hear details. But I’m telling you this right now, Jax, if you cannot handle the responsibility of being a father or giving my sister whatever it is she needs to feel supported by you, then leave.”
The breath left my lungs in a hard whoosh, like he’d socked me straight in the gut. My head reared back as I registered what he was saying. “What?”
“Leave before you make anything worse for her. Before she thinks you’ll swoop in and turn this into some fairy-tale ending because you know that’s what she’s always wanted more than anything.”
Anger had my skin going hot. “I’m not fucking leaving, Cameron. That’s my child too. Maybe you’re not giving your sister enough credit, because trust me, that is the last thing she’s expecting me to do. I have no intention of making her do this alone, so fuck you for suggesting it.”
His brows crawled high on his forehead. “Fuck me? Fuckme?” he yelled. Slowly, he stood, fists clenched. “You slept with my little sister who’s been in love with you forever, got her pregnant, left formonthswhile we watched her deal with the fallout, and you think you get to curse me out for trying to protect her now?”
It was my turn to stand, my heart thudding uncomfortably in my chest. “I didn’tknowshe was pregnant when I left, Cameron. I wasn’t thinking about anything like that when I decided to go.”
He gave a sharp, uncomfortable laugh that I felt in my gut. “You never do, do you? The whim hits you, and you’re off on the next adventure.”
“It wasn’t a whim,” I said as evenly as possible. “I’ve wanted to do that trip for years, and I needed time to get my head on straight, and I couldn’t just stay here after?—”
Understanding dawned on his face, and it was like someone gripped their hand around my fucking throat, slicing off the path for any more words to escape.
“That’s why you left,” he said, brows bent over his eyes. Cameron’s chin dropped into his chest, his hands spearing into his hair as he gripped the sides of his head in disbelief. “Holyshit, that’s why you left for so long. Because ofPoppy.” He took a step closer, eyes blazing and frame tense. “I asked you if something happened, and you lied to me, didn’t you? You left the country for over three months to get yourhead on straightafter you fucked my little sister,” he yelled. “Am I getting that right?”
Holding his eye contact was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my entire life because his anger cut me to the fucking bone.
My voice came out like someone had wrung my entire body dry—resigned and empty. “Yes, that’s why.”
He exhaled a harsh puff of air, shaking his head as he stared at me like he didn’t recognize me. “Does she know that?”
“No.”
There was a haunted quality to my friend’s face that I’d never seen before, not even after his dad died, and that cut just as deeply as anything else. “I don’t know what else to say right now, man.” He held his arms out and let them drop by his side. “You’ve spent your entire adult life avoiding anything that could make you beholden to a woman, to anyone other than yourself, so I’m not exactly filled with confidence that you’ll do right by my sister.”
Over and over, it seemed I’d be forced to come face-to-face with the fallout of my choices. The good and the bad, no matter how much sense they made to me at the time. Being alone was the only thing I’d ever wanted out of life. Being able to make decisions that were only rooted in my own wants and needs, desperate to break the cycle I’d watched play out infront of me over and over and over, desperate to prove that I didn’t need anyone. That I wouldn’t ever need anyone.
It all felt painfully hollow now.
“I’m trying,” I ground out. “I have had less than a day to wrap my mind around this, all right? Cut me some slack.”
He let out a harsh laugh, a sound I’d never heard from him before. “Believe me, cutting you some slack is all I’ve been doing today. If I wasn’t, I’d probably have broken your jaw by now.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, dropping back down into the chair while I took a few deep breaths. “I’m trying to do right by her,” I said again. “And I’m not saying I’m doing a good job of that yet, but God, I don’t blame you for being pissed, okay? I spent months beating myself up for what happened. I knew it was stupid to let her in the house when we’d both been drinking.”
Cameron let out a harsh exhale and sat back down too. “I can’t hear this, Jax. Ican’t.”
“Sorry.” I tipped my chin up and tried to breathe.
He shook his head. “She showed up at your place,” he said quietly, running a hand down his weary-looking face. “I swear, it’s hard to think about Poppy as a grown woman sometimes. She’sPoppy. She’s the kid who always wanted me to put Band-Aids on her skinned-up knees if Mom wasn’t around because Dad didn’t do it right.” He sank his head into his hands for a moment. When he lifted it again, he looked about ten years older. “I don’t know how that same little girl is even old enough to be the one we’re talking about. We’ve all been protective of her for so long, and with Dad gone, I think we all just … held on to that a little bit tighter than we should have.”
It made sense. But that didn’t mean it didn’t fucking sting to be the one aimed in their crosshairs.
I gave him a beseeching look. “Do you really think I’d have left if I’d known?”
It took him a long minute to answer as he studied my face,jaw tight and eyes conflicted. “No,” he said eventually. “I don’t.”
My shoulders deflated, the pressure on my chest easing slightly. “Good.”
Cameron eyed me carefully before speaking again. “She was finally moving on from you,” he said softly.
