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We made it to my appointment two minutes early, and damn if my mother didn’t give the woman behind the desk a smug little smile when we checked in. She held my hand while I lay back on the table and answered the doctor’s usual questions. Then the doctor pulled up my shirt and placed the wand over the bump, pressing into the skin just a bit.
Instantly, the room filled with a loud, fast whooshing sound. A smile broke open over my face, and my mom cried silently as she clutched my hand even tighter.
“Hey, baby,” I whispered, my fingers spreading over the part of my stomach still untouched by the wand.
It was magic. Maybe one of the purest kinds we could experience on this earth, and I closed my eyes and let the sound of it wash over me while love—perfect, strong love—knocked me over like a giant wave.
And right on the heels of it, a dull pang of longing, wondering where Jax was and when he might show his face. Wondering what he’d say or do. I blew out a slow breath, forcing any of those stresses out of my mind. I took a few deep breaths, lest my blood pressure rocket sky high at the mere thought of him.
“Sounds good,” the doctor said, a wide smile on her slightly wrinkled face. “Nice and strong. You’re looking great, Poppy. Your blood pressure is excellent. Weight gain is righton track. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll see you next month, okay?”
I nodded, tugging down my shirt while my mom wiped her face with a handkerchief. “Thank you, Dr. Beal.”
My mom was quiet as we left the office and walked back to her car. I snuck a glance at her profile as she slowly pulled the seat belt around her.
“You okay, Mom?” I asked.
She blinked, but when she looked over at me, she hadn’t quite gotten rid of the lingering sadness I could see there. I reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing tight while she took a deep breath.
“I was thinking about my appointment with you, actually.” Another tear slid down her cheek, and she dashed it away with a flick of her fingers. “Your dad walked on air the whole week after we heard your heartbeat. He was convinced you were a boy.”
I smiled. “Really? You never told me.”
“That’s because once you were born, and that man heard you cry and the doctor said it was a girl, he was wrapped right around your little pinky.” She smiled, a little bit happier this time. “We all were, honey. You were just what our family needed.”
Something unspoken hid between her sweet words, and I tried to figure out what it was. “What’s making you sad, though, Mom?”
For a moment, she didn’t answer, her gaze pulling away from mine while she stared out the windshield. Her chin quivered for a moment, but she swallowed, then looked back at me.
“This baby is something our family needs too,” she said. Then she took in a big breath. “But I wish you had someone here with you that would walk on air just for hearing that perfect little heartbeat. I hate seeing you do this alone, honey.“
The heavy press of truth clogged my throat and kicked my heartbeat higher.
How long could I keep going without telling them? I’d made a dozen lists, and each one ended up in the same place, with me reaching the same conclusion.
No one could know until I talked to Jax. It wasn’t fair to him.
So I leaned forward, flinging my arms around her shoulders while we both sniffled quietly. “I’m not alone,” I told her. “Not even a little.”
She pulled back, wiping at her face. “You’re right.”
While she gathered herself, fixing the mascara under her eyes, I settled back in my seat and wondered for the millionth time when Jax would ever show his damn face. I’d texted him one other time, another plea for a phone call, and it went undelivered, just like the first.
He’d never been gone this long, and the only comment I heard from Greer was that it was some months-long mountain hike thing that Jax had always wanted to do, and Cameron told him to take as long as he needed and see some of Europe while he was there if he wanted.
Thanks a lot, brother. Give the man a free pass to gallivant all around the world while I stayed at home, guarding the biggest family secret in … forever.
“Want to pick up some cookies or something and go out to the jobsite? Greer said she’d be there all day. We can tell her about the appointment.”
Visiting their build sites wasn’t something I did much of anymore either because I couldn’t stop looking around the corner, hoping I’d see a dark-haired, dark-eyed man appear out of the shadows. And he just didn’t.
With two dozen cookies in hand for the always hungry crew, Mom and I headed downtown to where they were working on the Wilder House store. As our primary investor, Ivy had snagged a prime piece of land just on the end of themain street that ran through downtown Sisters. The frame was up, roof on, drywall in, and they were working on trimming out the interior. The loud buzz of machinery had me smiling as we walked up the front porch and through the wide double doors that would serve as the main entrance.
It was built to look like a barn-shaped house, with tall ceilings and a loft-style upstairs overlooking the bottom level. Ivy’s plans, much like everything else she did, were immaculate, and I couldn’t help but grin at how much it had all changed in the last month since I’d visited. Tucked back into the far corners would be two model kitchens, each with a long stretch of counter to display some of the home goods we were carrying—cutting boards, flatware, plates, and artisan glasses. Right now, they were framing out the skeleton of those kitchens, building in the custom cabinets that would also serve as a sample of what Wilder Homes—our branch dedicated to building custom homes—could do for their residential clients.
Greer popped her head out from a hallway at the back, which led to a couple of offices, the bathrooms, and a private space to meet with clients. Her grin spread wide. “Oooh, cookies. I love when you bring us things.” She yanked off her safety glasses and pulled me in for a sidelong hug. “How was the appointment?”
“Good.”
