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Scary in an entirely different way. The kind of scary that shredded my insides because I couldn’t make sense of where to put that feeling anymore.
It couldn’t be ignored, not with her in my face every single day.
Mira already loved me, already looked to me for comfort and kindness and encouragement. I still wasn’t sure how well I could give her any of these things.
But she didn’t have the power over me that Zoe did. The power to inflict massive damage with a single word.
Zoe glanced into the house, doing a slight double take when she caught me staring.
I didn’t look away. Didn’t drop my gaze. But I didn’t soften the moment with a smile either.
That was somethingshedid. A gift that she was willing to give.
And maybe it was easier for Zoe to offer it because she had a heart bigger than the ocean. She’d had it broken before, and she still stepped right up to the plate when people like Chris and Amie demanded a sacrifice of such magnitude that it was hard to comprehend sometimes.
We weren’t playing house. This wasn’t a game. And, still, she and I were just trying to get through each passing day without making a monumental fuckup of the task we’d been handed.
“Question of the day,” I said to myself. “What the bloody fuck are you gonna do with these two?”
I wished I knew the answer to that one. And I hoped she never asked.
Chapter Fifteen
ZOE
Most days, I didn’t know what to make of Liam.
Especially on the days when he clearly kept his distance from both me and Mira.
The bulk of the emotional labor involving her was my responsibility. When she tripped and scraped her knee on the concrete around the pool, she ran to me. I was the one to clean her up and dry her tears.
One particular night, a couple of weeks after I’d moved in, she woke inconsolable from a fierce nightmare.
Because I’d gone to bed before Liam, he must have still been awake, and the sound of him pounding up the stairs woke me just as much as her cries. But once in the room, as I pulled Mira into my arms and settled on the chair in the corner, smoothing my hand over her sweat-soaked back while she cried for her mom, he stood with his back against the doorframe, his face stoic.
He was watchful.
Clearly worried.
And noticeably distant.
Around the house and in the yard, I hardly had to lift a finger. When I cooked dinner, the dishes were washed and put away within an hour of us finishing.
The yard was immaculate, the pool always clean and sparkling, even though it mostly went unused beyond trying to bribe Mira into getting in. We were usually unsuccessful, but we still tried.
In the more mundane moments, when emotions didn’t run so high, Liam was much more present.
The nights when I was bent over my laptop, eyes blurry from staring at numbers, he stepped in to do bathtime, and down the stairs I’d hear the low rumble of his voice as he talked her through the evening routine.
“Don’t you try to steal that bath duck, young lady,” he said sternly. “No, don’t give me those eyes—they won’t help you one little bit.” A pause. “Thank you. Now go get your jams on, yeah?”
Because he couldn’t see me, I grinned. No matter how rough he seemed to be with Mira, she adored him. It was the only reason his demeanor didn’t bother me.
And some days, he was the most dangerous version of himself.
Playful Liam.
With Mira in bed early because of a nap-free day, I brought my Kindle closer to my face, my heart racing as I tapped to the next page.
