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The brick wall inside my chest was too high, too fortified after so many years, and already firmly back in place now that I shared space with her. It wouldn’t come crumbling down again that easily.
Zoe crouched down for the hug I hadn’t given, and she reminded Mira that I was going to take care of her and that Rosa was right across the street.
Like I’d call that woman for help. She terrified me.
“You coming back soon?” Mira asked. Her eyes were wide, and I had to look away.
Zoe nodded. “Very soon. I’ll only be gone for two sleeps.” She tapped Mira’s nose. “You’ll have so much fun with Uncle Liam, okay?” Then she leaned in for a dramatic whisper that I was meant to hear. “Make him watchMoanaa lot; I think he’ll love it.”
I rolled my eyes but fought a smile when Mira giggled happily.
“I put the car seat in the garage,” Zoe told me as she stood. “Do you want me to show you how to hook it in?”
“I can figure it out.”
For a moment, she stared me down. “I highly doubt that, but okay. Rosa’s number is on the fridge. She’s around all weekend.” She gave me a look. “Call her if you need help. Please.”
I set my hands on my hips. “It’s two days, Valentine. I can handle it.”
I’d uttered those words before I knew.
Before I knew that saying no to a doughnut could cause weeping and wailing.
Before I knew that an entire day could pass in which she refused to eat any of the food I made for her.
Cold macaroni and cheese ended up being my meal for the afternoon, which I ate sitting on the deck and watching her blow bubbles. Doughnut crumbs still dotted her cheeks.
“You do it,” she said, then shoved the bottle of bubbles at me. She’d spilled half the contents already, and the outside of the bottle was coated with a soapy film.
I took it from her hand and dipped the wand inside. Before waving it gently through the air, I paused to study the excitement on her face.
All day, I’d searched for some hint that she desperately missed her parents. And I couldn’t see a shred of any such thing.
Yeah, she was as stubborn as a fucking mule, but she was happy. She bounced on the balls of her toes, her eyes gleaming while she waited for me to comply with her request.
A knot formed in my throat when I realized just how simple life was for her right now.
I pulled the wand through the air, and she chased the bubbles as she laughed.
No complications existed for her. All the things that had been thrown at Zoe and me over the last month and a half simply weren’t there. Because she had all the things she needed, at least in her mind.
Someone to feed her. Someone to play with her. Someone to be there in the middle of the night.
Someone to make her feel safe.
That brick wall inside me quavered ominously, and I waited for a crack in the foundation, something unsettling and unsteady. But I took a deep breath, and it held.
Somehow.
After a few more minutes of bubbles, my phone vibrated on the table next to me.
Valentine:How’s it going?
Me:She hasn’t run away yet.
Valentine:Helpful. Did she eat lunch? She’s picky. Which you’d know if you read the binder.
Me:She also hasn’t starved. We’re doing just fine, thank you very much.
