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“Again,” I said.
He smirked, proud of me. I saw it in hiseyes. I eventually earned my name.
But he was dead now.
All because of this piece of shit I had tokill.
“It should’ve been you!” Moms had cried inher usual drug induced state. Only this time she had tears andsnot. Her eyes bloodshot not only because of the shit she injectedinto her veins but because of Daniel dying.
I didn’t know the specifics of whathappened, but the hit had to have been sanctioned by the Brennanfamily. And Maddox had been rumored to have visited with T at theclub before the shit went down. I had been excited to meet thefucker at Underground. A don. I’d never met one before. Once wewere inducted into the gang life, we’d give over our world forthem. La Sagrada Sangre’sloyalty to them wasn’t aboutmoney, but about honor and family. But that shit meant nothing tothe dons at the top. I didn’t get to meet Maddox at the club, but Isure as hell was going to come face to face with him now.
It was only a matter of time before Momshooked up with another pimp. Daniel and Dad wouldn’t be there toprotect me anymore. I knew in my bones things would end up worsefor me. Although I towered over her, she always found a way to makeme feel so damn small.
Tears burned my eyes. I knocked my head witha closed fist trying to get the hurtful memories out. I couldn’t …I couldn’t live like that no more. I couldn’t. I needed not toremember. To go to a dark sleep and never wake up. My handtwitched. I’d taken something to take the edge off and it wasalready wearing off. I had to do this now or put the bullet into myown damn head.
Maddox Brennan had taken everything from me,and I was going to make him pay. He was predictable. Three days ittook me to learn his routine. He’d been all smiles at a youthsports club as if helping sports enthused shits would absolve himof his sins. And the fucker had a lot to be absolved for.
No one noticed a gangly teen smoking pot onthe street corner of this neighborhood, tapping a gun on his hip ina nervous twitch. And Maddox kept a piece at his back. I saw theway he moved. He was a bear. Tall, thick, and nicely fed. Richassholes who used the poor to do their shit work and then killedthem off when they didn’t need them anymore.
I wiped my nose. My lips were tingling. Mywhole body started to sweat although the mid-February temperaturesleft the city in an icy haze with snow on the ground. And I had aragged hoodie that smelled of Doogie’s rottweiler and hot chips.Doogie had given me the gun for three bills. The contents of theenvelope T had left me telling me to leave Mom, to go to Tia’shouse, but I was no coward. I had to avenge my family. Dad had leftmy moms enough money to have her dead in a week. I wondered if hedid that on purpose. Maybe even after death he was protectingme.
Maddox walked out of the youth club towardhis car. He climbed into his black sleek Beamer. I waited acrossthe street under shadow with clear line of sight. He turned the keyand the car exploded. The heat of it busted all the windows in theblock and sent me on my ass.
Nah, shit like that happened only in themovies. It would’ve been nice to live in one of those movies wherepeople never really died and I was the hero.
No, Maddox’s car didn’t explode. It clicked.Dead. My dad had taught me a few things too. Like about his contactat the rental place who held the keys to the world. Or at leastaccess to the keys of certain cars. Because the Brennans were a NewYork family spreading into Chicago, the rental would be hisundoing. I watched Maddox as he climbed out of the car with hisphone to his ear, probably calling for a tow.
Game time.
I broke cover. My grip on the guntightened.
Twenty paces away.
The air cold as shit. The empty street aperfect backdrop.
Ten paces.
I lifted the gun. My breath hung in the air.Not long now. The barrel aimed at his head.
It’d be over soon.
My dark shadow rippled across the gleamingblue paintjob of the Beamer in front of Maddox. Our eyes met in theshiny gloss. His body stiffened. He could’ve been me if I ever grewthat old. Our features almost exact in the blur of the car’spaintjob. Then he slowly turned to me.
“I’ll call you later. Bring the tow,” hesaid into the phone, his dark green eyes on mine.
My trigger finger twitched. I wanted to seeblood on the white snow. I wanted him to know that for a heartbeat,I had power over him. Me. A kid. A Moya. I didn’t realize I wascrying until a sob tore out of my throat. “Ask me,” I ordered. “Askme why!”
“Joaquín.” My father’s name coming from hismouth felt wrong. I hated that his voice didn’t waver, that hedidn’t look afraid. I hated seeing compassion in his eyes, maybepity. I hatedhim. With every fiber of my being, I hatedMaddox Brennan.
“Try again.”
His shoulders drooped just a fraction.“Daniel.”
“Yes!” Spittle fell from my lips. The tears.I hated them. “Do you have any idea what she’s going to do to menow! What she’s going to letthemdo to me!” WTF, Tomás?Shut the fuck up. I didn’t have to tell him how Daniel protected mefrom my mother and her pimp. How Daniel taught me how to ride abike, to read, to take my meds. I didn’t have to tell him shit toend this. I took a step closer. “No! You don’t know. Because allyou do is break people. Kill everything good!”
“Tomás,” he said. His voice took a soft toneas if hecouldbe sorry, as if he could care for me. “Don’tdo this. It won’t bring him back.”
“I know. But I want to go with him.”
