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The tears she’s been trying to keep back finally start to fall. The urge to reach for her and wipe them off crashes over me, but I don’t. Because I know I’m not going to like whatever it is she has to say.
“He told me two weeks ago. Before I agreed to marry you.”
My heart fucking drops. “And yet you still agreed to marry me. Why?”
She opens her mouth to answer but I raise a hand to stop her.
“Let me guess. Rossi had his suspicions, so he asked you to come into my home,” I begin, taking a step closer to her. “He asked you to spy on me. To find evidence that I was responsible for his mother’s death. Is that it, Lucia?”
My tone is still even, my voice scarily calm, despite the rage spreading through me. The hurt.
“Ivan,” she says, her breath trembling, “I can explain.”
My eyes fall shut for a couple of seconds as I try to calm down. When they open again, she’s still standing in front of me, tears running down her face. I exhale softly before leaning down to look her in the eye. I finally give in to the urge to wipe the tears from her cheek. She shivers as my fingers move over her face, my touch tender despite the torrent of emotions within me.
“I need you to do something for me, Lucia,” I say after a couple of seconds pass. “I need you to leave.”
Her lips part in surprise. “No, wait?—”
I don’t let her speak. “I’m trying my fucking hardest right now not to say something I’ll regret. The one thing I can’t stand is betrayal. I brought you into my home, I trusted you. I was falling for you, while you were lying to my face every day.”
“I wasn’t!”
“You were,” I grit out. “Every single day you stood in front of me and smiled at me. You got to know me. I thought you were starting to like me?—”
“I was starting to like you. Ivan, I swear. You have to believe me,” she says desperately.
“No. Get out of my life, Lucia. I mean it.”
She tries to reach for me but I stay out of her grasp and walk away, unable to look into her eyes any longer. Not when my heart feels like it’s about to burst in my chest.
I walk to my room and immediately her scent assaults me. Which makes me even angrier because this is supposed to my space and she’s burrowed herself into it as well, the same way she’s burrowed in my chest.
I hear someone walk into the room and turn to look at Ruslan. He seems to have something to say.
“What is it?” I snap.
His lips are in a thin line. “I think you should have heard her out, boss.”
I scoff, “Are you fucking joking? The only reason she was here was to dig up information on me.”
“Maybe that’s why she came. But I don’t think it was all pretend.”
I glare at him. “Don’t defend her, Ruslan. She played me. She played us all for fools. And I was serious when I asked her to leave. Take her home to her family, just get her out of my sight. Now!” I bark.
“Yes, sir.” Ruslan nods before walking out and shutting the door behind him, leaving me alone.
I find myself wishing I’d never found out the truth. Because surely ignorance is better than the knowledge that the woman I’m falling in love with has been nothing but a lie.
CHAPTER 21
Lucia
There’s this soothing feeling you get when you’re underwater. It’s like nothing else exists in the world.
I’d very much like to feel like that. Because for the past couple of days, I’ve constantly felt so many emotions, and it’s exhausting. The heartache, the pain, but most importantly, the guilt. Because I know for a fact that I fucked up. Ivan has every right to be angry. I just wish he would talk to me.
My sister strokes my head as I stare up at the ceiling in the living room. I’m lying flat on the couch with my head in her lap. We just finished watching a movie, a rom-com Aurora reluctantly watched to help distract me. And now that it’s over, I can continue to ponder on my mistakes.
