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He finally grunts and nods.
God, I love him so. It’s the sort of thought that makes all other thoughts diminish as it takes hold, emblazoned in my mind and heart.I love him.
I thought I did before, but now I know love is so much more than a shared connection and attraction.
Maybe love isn’t perfect without a struggle, but it grows stronger through adversity, embracing all parts of who we are, from the passionate to the everyday. Maybe weathering troubles only underscores our commitments to each other.
Maybe love is about respecting the other person’s differences, loving them, flaws and all.
Maybe love takes time and flourishes as it ages if it’s well watered and attended to.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm alright with not having all the answers, not doing everything perfectly. Because I love Ollie Romanov, flawed and human, fierce and devoted, and I know he loves me.
I have seen his transformation, and I am honored to see where we go next. From a ruthless enforcer who kept me prisoner, I watched as he gradually opened up to the possibility of a real connection, real love, of finding a way to balance his dark past with hope for the future. He found a way to break the barriers that held him back and let me in.
When I met him, I was a guarded survivor, resilient, yes, but walled off from anything and everyone around me. I've learned to trust myself, to trust others, to find a sense of peace and acceptance for both of us.
I don’t have to be strong and ruthless like Isabella, amazing with a gun like Harper, or a brilliant scientist like Nikko’s wife Vera…or any of those things. Maybe I can just be…me. Renata Carrera Romanova.
I have a place here too. I belong.
"Mikhail is going to want to talk about everything that happened because we need to act now,” Lev insists, talking pragmatically and, thankfully, unaware of the transformation inside me. He and Ollie hold the kind of silent exchange that I don’t quite understand.
Lev glares, and Ollie shakes his head. They grunt and gesture, and finally, Lev throws his hands up in the air, and Ollie speaks up. “Listen. Renata has been through enough. We'll make sure that everything is locked down, of course," Ollie says. “But I don't want to put her through this right now. She deserves a break. It's been too much."
"I'm fine," I say quietly, but when Ollie opens his mouth to protest, I shake my head. “I promise," I say softly.
Ollie finally nods, even though his grip tightens a little bit more on me. "All right. Are you hungry? Need water? Something to eat?"
Lev’s dark chuckle from across the room catches Ollie's attention.
"Shut up," Ollie snaps.
But Lev shakes his head. "No. I am so not going to fucking shut up. After you lectured every single one of us about not falling in love, about how weak we were because we did it, look at you," Lev continues in a mocking voice. "Can I get you water? Something to eat?"
"Lev, my God, grow up," I snap at him, but I can't help but smile. "I'm fine, but I'm not getting off Ollie's lap no matter what you guys say. So you can tell Mikhail he can just fuck off if that's what he wants to do."
"What was that?" Mikhail asks from the doorway, and I feel like I’m six years old. I bury my face in Ollie's chest.
"Nothing," I say, which makes Ollie chuckle.
"Give her some space. She’s under duress," Ollie says quietly. His lips quirk up as he leans in and whispers in my ear. “Behave yourself.” My cheeks flame.
Thankfully, Ollie changes the subject. “We all need to chat. Mikhail. What’s going on?"
The rest of the guys walk into the room. I guess I'm all brave about telling Mikhail to fuck off unless he's standing right in front of me. This group doesn’t take kindly to disrespect, and my husband doesn’t either.
Begrudgingly, I’ll admit I kind of love that about him.
"Isabella discovered that unbeknownst to her, Renata has a huge inheritance coming to her she didn’t know about and a rival cartel, La Sombra Roja, got wind of it,” Mikhail says. "Carlos admitted in the end that he was working for them, that they intended on taking Renata for their own so they could claim her inheritance. And?—"
"Which is bullshit to me," Ollie says. “She’s married.”
Isabella interjects. “They are known for being ruthless and disregarding the laws of the land, so to speak."
"Do you have personal experience with them?" I ask her.
"Unfortunately, yes." She swallows hard and looks at Lev before she speaks to Ollie. "You need to keep a close eye on Polina. That will be one of the options left to them, you see. Now that they know Renata is married, they will likely come after Polina. They will stop at nothing. They are ruthless. Evil," she says. "The only reason why we haven’t had a flat-out war with them is because my father made a truce years ago. They will consider that void now since my brother is dead.”
