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She reached up to her towel and began to loosen it, but I stopped her with my hand wrapped around hers.
“No.”
She blinked. “But you said—”
“Fuck, Fallon, I don’t expect you to suck my dick just because I told you to.”
She blinked up at me from under her wet lashes, and my cock bobbed. “What if I wanted to?”
“You want to suck my cock?” I had to ask because I had to know if she was being serious with this shit. At the bob of her head, I asked, “Why?”
She shrugged. “Maybe I find you attractive?”
She’d posed it as a question, and my sick fucking mind had to know whether she did want to do this—truly do this—and whether I would let her. If I were honest, I’d rather slip my tongue into her pussy and make her come on my tongue, which was … new for me. Normally, I didn’t want my partners to find any pleasure, but with Fallon, I wanted her to experience it.
“Do you find me attractive?” Fuck, what was I? A teenage boy?
She nodded, then gestured down to my dick, which had only grown harder the more we spoke about sucking and blow jobs and my dirty thoughts of swallowing down all her honey. “And you’re attracted to me.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, to stop this shit before it was too late, but she placed a finger over my lips. “Don’t try and lie to me. Your body doesn’t lie.”
Don’t try and lie to me. Your body doesn’t lie.
Don’t … lie to me … body doesn’t lie.
Body doesn’t lie …
Those words echoed in my head, pounding through my ears, and burrowing deep into my memories. And just like that, I was dragged back to when I was a thirteen-year-old kid who was powerless to stop a woman who was supposed to nurture and care for me. I was back in that room, being tied down and … and …
“Don’t touch me.” The words came out as a stifled moan, ripped from my throat almost violently.
Fallon stopped immediately, looking at me with a stunned expression on her face. “Orin?”
I shook my head and bolted from the bathroom. Not bothering to dry off, I shoved myself into a worn pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then ran from the room. I was suddenly spinning out of control, I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I was a glass spinning top on a table, teetering closer and closer to the edge. I was going to fall off and shatter on the floor, and when I did, I feared I wouldn’t be able to put myself back together again.
I ran outside the compound, getting into the first Rover I saw. The keys were still in the ignition. I turned on the engine and peeled out of the driveway. I felt as if I was sinking into the past, and the only way to regain my footing was to cement it in the present. To gain control. To have the power and never cede it again.
When I finally stopped the car, it was in the parking lot behind Velvet. I moved on autopilot, finding my way into the back rooms, and stumbling down the hall like I was fucking drunk until I found her in the main body of the club.
Raven.
The girl who was my preferred sub.
She caught a glimpse of the look in my eyes and approached, dropping her gaze to the floor and rolling her shoulders forward to make herself look smaller. With her head bowed, I could hardly hear her over the music when she said, “I’m ready, sir.”
She slipped into the submissive version of herself so effortlessly.
“You know what I expect of you,” I told her, my voice changing, becoming the Dominant she needed, and I craved.
“Yes, sir.” She turned and started down the hall.
Wordlessly, I followed, only stopping when another man shouted, “She was my cunt!”
I stopped. Turned. Bored a hole in the man’s head until he backed down, then continued down the hall to the final room. This looked like all the others, but anchor points were hidden behind the eggplant-purple curtains. I didn’t like using the communal room. I didn’t like the idea of any other man being in here in the same capacity as me, but after what happened in the shower with Fallon, I was desperate.
Desperate for control.
Desperate to feel grounded.
