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“And why not?” James said, walking into the kitchen with Valentine in his arms. “If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have our gorgeous girl here.” Passing her to Bane, he added, “Hold her for a bit. She’s missed you.”
Bane became putty in Valentine’s presence, his complete focus on her.
“Congratulations,” James said softly.
I spun to face him, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“Would you like some wine?”
“I’d love some.” I looked back at Bane to find him deep in a game of peekaboo with his niece. I trailed after James, smiling when he handed me a glass of red wine. “I never got to say thank you, James.”
He paused with his bottle of beer almost at his mouth. “Thank you?”
“For saving me that day… from the warehouse.”
He took a sip of his drink, then placed the bottle down. “I was just doing my job, Wren.”
Shaking my head, I tried to keep the tears at bay, but it was a battle I had no hope of winning. They came, making him step closer and rest a hand on my forearm.
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, glancing at Bane to see if he’d noticed. He’d become really overprotective since I’d been discharged from the hospital, and if he saw me crying again, he was liable to lose his shit at his brother-in-law. “I can’t help but feel so guilty. Three of your colleagues died in that explosion.”
James looked over his shoulder at his wife, who was stirring a pot of sauce. When his eyes returned to me, he said, “Hey, don’t feel guilty for that. They were just doing their job. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to miss every single one of them, but they knew what they were doing. Every time we go out on a job, we know what we’re risking.”
I wanted to believe what he was saying but discovered I’d been having these real lows where guilt would crash over me. Bane usually made love to me until the feeling passed, but being with James now brought it all home.
Bianca would’ve been a widow if things had been different.
Valentine would’ve lost her father.
I wouldn’t be here if things had been different.
I felt the weight and familiarity of Bane’s arm around my waist, his scent swirling in the air. “Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes serious.
I nodded. “Yes, just having a low moment.”
“You might want to think about getting some therapy,” James said. “Some of the guys at work… some that were on that job, are seeing the departmental shrink, and they’ve all been much happier lately.”
It wasn’t a terrible idea at all. “Okay. I’ll look into it.” Shaking myself, I tried to move past the crushing weight I felt in my chest and focused on what was happening now. “And how is Miss Valentine?” I asked, stroking the little girl’s cheeks. Her mouth flexed into a small smile.
“Why don’t you hold her?” Bane suggested, already positioning her so I could take her. I wasn’t really comfortable with kids, with babies even less so. I was always worried I’d drop them. Bane nodded in encouragement when I stared at him with wide-eyes.
“Okay.” As I accepted the small bundle, I stared down at her face, waiting for the tears. She stared up at me with her calm midnight-blue eyes, and I wondered what the fuss was all about.
“You look good with a baby,” Bianca commented, and I jerked my head up to stare at her.
“No, I don’t think so,” I replied too quickly. My gaze flickered to Bane who was staring at me, watching me with an intensity that made my breath catch.
Clearing my throat, I handed Valentine back to him. Leaning in, he whispered into my ear, “I can’t fucking wait to see your belly swelling with my baby.”
I shivered, taking another sip of my wine. Babies were never supposed to be in my future. It wasn’t what I wanted, and I think that all steamed from my childhood. I was terrified of leaving them alone out in the world. Hawk and I had to fight for every scrap, and that was something I never wanted a child of mine to endure. As I looked at Bane, I realized any children we did have wouldn’t ever be left wanting. Bane had more than enough money to last him half-dozen lifetimes, and if anything were to happen to us, Bianca and James would be there, of that I was sure.
“So, have you made any wedding plans yet?” Bianca asked me while moving back into the kitchen. She pulled open the oven and brought out a tray of lasagna. The scent of oregano and garlic filled the air.
“No. None yet.”
She gave me a warm smile. “You weren’t one of those girls who dreamed of their perfect wedding either?”
