AllFreeNovel
Share Us
1
Mia
Her eyes…
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL that’s holy. Will this man ever leave me alone? This is the fifth time this week Mac’s been in Jaxon’s pub, where I work. Doesn’t he realize each time I see him it’s like a knife is being jammed in my chest? Doesn’t he know how hard it is for me? It’s bad enough that I’m stuck in the same town as him. I try my best to avoid him as much as possible, but when he keeps coming into the bar, it’s just not feasible. It’s also hard to avoid him when he’s close friends with my brother.
I’m used to only seeing him once, maybe twice, a week, and that’s hard enough. This is the fifth time this week, and it makes me want to punch him in the balls, crawl up his body and take a ride, and cry big fat ugly tears. All at the same time. Sick? Yeah, I know.
He, Tessa, and I are the only ones who know what happened that night. It’s the way I want it to stay. As much as he hurt me, I don’t want to ruin Mac and Jaxon’s friendship. And I know that ifJaxon found out what Mac did to me, he would go ballistic and kick Mac’s ass. I may hate Mac, but I still don’t want him hurt. Well, maybe a little, but not to the extent that Jaxon would hurt him.
Jaxon is fiercely loyal and protective of his family. Just ask his fiancée’s rat bastard ex-husband. Oh wait, you can’t, because he’s dead. Not by Jaxon’s hands, but damn near. Steven, aka rat bastard, pulled a gun on Jaxon and Bailey, but Mac got to him first. That’s the one thing I am grateful to Mac for, he saved Jaxon and Bailey’s lives. Unfortunately, my sister, Anna, wasn’t so lucky. She was caught up in the hell-storm that was Steven. He and his friend kidnapped her and then used her body so much that it literally killed her.
Wiping the sad thoughts from my mind, I throw the rag I was using to clean the counter over my shoulder and drag my feet as I head toward Mac. As much as I hate to admit it, he is the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. He always has been, and I suspect he always will be.
His hair is dark brown and he wears it in a shaggy style. His eyes, which are bright green, are intense as he watches me make my way over to him. I’ve noticed him watching me more and more lately. Not with just curiosity, but with desire. The heat that radiates from him as he looks at me is almost scorching. It unnerves me, and every time I catch him doing it, it makes me want to smack him in the face. He has no right to look at me like that. Not anymore. He lost that right long ago.
“What do you want?” I ask him bluntly, when I’m standing in front of him.
Instead of answering, he just stares back at me with his beautiful eyes. They rake over my body from the waist up, stopping briefly at my chest, which causes his eyes to flare and my nipples to harden. I hate when he looks at me with such heat. I hate that the desire I see in his eyes can still affect me after all these years. Especially after what he did to me.
My body betrays me every time he looks at me the way he’slooking at me right now. My heart flutters in my chest, and my limbs go weak. I feel my blood heat and my core become damp. I know my face is flushed, giving away my reaction to his perusal of my body. A smirk appears on his face, and I want to reach over and smack the smug look right off. Bastard.
“I’ll take a beer, Pix. Whatever’s on tap.” His expression remains smug as a damn twinkle appears in his eye.
With my teeth clenched together and my hands gripping the counter, I reply, “Do not call me that. And you know damn well that’s not what I’m talking about. Why do you keep coming here?”
Placing one elbow on the bar and tapping his finger across his lips, he seems to contemplate my question. Seriously? It’s a simple fucking question.
“You really want to know why I keep showing up here?” At my head jerk, he continues. “I’m sick and fucking tired of you giving me the cold shoulder. I’m tired of you looking at me like I’m the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. When I walk into a room, you do everything you can to avoid me. And when you can’t, you lash out. It pisses me off, and it’s about time it stops.” When he’s done talking, the smirk on his face from a few moments ago is replaced with a hard look.
I stand there, stunned speechless at his words. How dare he come in here and act as if I’m doing something wrong. He has no right to be pissed. He wasn’t the one to have his heart ripped out of his chest. He wasn’t the one who was left feeling like his whole world just crumbled at his feet. And he damn sure wasn’t the one to have his innocence ripped away from him in the darkest hour of his life.
“Fuck you, Sheriff,” I seethe at him. I’m so mad at the moment for his high-handedness that my whole body is shaking. “You don’t get to come in here and tell me how to feel. You have no idea what I went through and no clue what I’ve suffered. Just stay the fuck away from me.”
My breathing is heavy from the dark thoughts forming in my head. This is why I don’t want to see him. I’ve put the pain of whathe did to me, and what happened afterwards, in a small box in the back of my mind. When he’s near, that box cracks open and it almost cripples me all over again.
I take the rag from my shoulder and start to turn away from him but he grabs my wrist to stop me. I glance down at his hand on my arm. “No,” he says sharply, and I look back up. “You don’t get to walk away from me anymore. It’s been ten years, Mia. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry, but this stops now. You never gave me the chance to explain back then. I didn’t push because I knew you were hurting, but you’re going to listen now.”
I try to pull my arm away, but his grip is relentless. “Let me go, Mac,” I tell him in a harsh whisper.
“No.”
“Let me the fuck go.” My voice gets louder, and I notice a couple of customers glancing our way. He must notice as well, because my arm is suddenly released.
“Have it your way for now, Pix, but know that this isn’t over. You will listen to what I have to say,” he says, before taking a step away from the bar and turning on his heel.
That fucking nickname again. I used to love hearing him call me that. Now it just grates on my damn nerves. He gave it to me when I was still a kid. He used to call me Pixie because I was so small and I reminded him of a sweet little pixie. I can see that he’s changed it to just Pix. He hasn’t called me Pixie in a long time. I hate that he’s using a similar version, because it reminds me of what we used to have.
As I watch the man who used to be my entire world walk away, I take a shaky breath. As hurt as I was, and still am, by his actions ten years ago, my heart still recognizes him as mine. My body still craves his like no other. My eyes still stray to him any time he is in the same vicinity as me.
I rub the spot on my arm that he had held. My skin is still heated from his touch and the tingles linger. After everything that’s happened, I don’t see how he can still affect me so. I’ve triedso hard over the years to push these feelings aside, but no matter what I do, they just won’t go away.
I wouldn’t consider myself a sexpert, but I definitely have had my fair share of guys. And with each and every one, I try to compare them to Mac. Or what I believed it would be like to be with him. As teenagers, we never went all the way, just seriously heavy petting. No matter how much I begged and pushed Mac to take me, he never did. He wanted to wait until I was of legal age to claim me. He considered our two-year age difference significant and wanted me to be utterly sure I was ready and he was what I wanted.
What he never understood was, I knew from the age of eleven that he was the one I wanted to marry someday. My schoolgirl fantasies always featured him. At first, it was a simple crush on my brother’s friend. I was young, innocent, and oblivious to all things carnal. Once I reached puberty and really started noticing boys, he captivated me. I had no idea why my body and heart felt strange around him. All I knew was that I wanted to be around him.
At thirteen, my fantasies started becoming more erotic. I had ideas flowing through my head that I picked up from the romance novels my mom had. I would sneak them into my room at night when everyone was asleep and picture myself in the heroine’s spot and Mac as the hero.
