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When he was done, helooked back up at me. “Why do you need to control every littlething in your life, Red?” I could tell his question was genuine andheld no condescension.
Because badthings happen to me when I don’t, I thought to myself.
I didn’t talk aboutwhat happened to me with anyone besides Kate and Dr. Yorker. Iwasn’t about to share my shame with someone I barely knew.Especially not Damon. For some reason the thought of him knowingabout my past made me feel even dirtier and more unlovable thannormal. I shook my head and turned my face away from him.
“I just do,” was allI offered as an answer.
He grabbed my chinand forced me to look at him before he leaned in closer to me. Hisother hand traveled up my thigh and held firm. I licked my dry lipsand watched as he followed the movement with his gaze again. Ithought for a second he was going to kiss me before he spoke.
“Have you everthought about giving some control up in a couple of aspects in yourlife? If you give someone else some of your responsibilities, maybeyou wouldn’t feel this way,” he said in an intimate tone that rakedacross my flesh.
I shivered again andfelt my nipples tighten further into aching peaks. I stared at hislips as I answered him. “I don’t know if I could. What aspect areyou referring to?” My voice came out far more breathy than I hadintended.
He leaned in evenfurther until his lips almost brushed across mine. Both of hishands held me now on the outside of my thighs. Tucked firmly wheremy legs meet the side of my ass. He squeezed and kneaded, nearlyripping a moan of pleasure from my lips. It had been so long sinceI had felt someone’s intimate touch.
“When was the lasttime you didn’t have complete control over your next orgasm?” heasked against my lips.
His question jarredme and I tried to lean back. Before I could, Damon pulled me towardhim. Making a place for himself between my spread legs. He crashedhis lips down on mine. I moaned against him and wound my armsaround his neck, bringing my chest to his. He thrust his tongueinside my mouth and groaned when I gave as good as I got. Hetrailed his hands down to the hem of my shirt before dippingin.
I knew this wasgoing too fast but I didn’t care. I couldn’t even remember the lasttime I had sex and forget who it had been with. Whoever it wasdidn’t light me on fire like Damon did. Everywhere he touched lefta trail of heat behind. I knew this man would wreck me eventually,but right now I didn’t care.
Chapter Five
Still Two WeeksAgo
I shivered as hisroughened hands met the hot skin of my stomach. He trailed hishands up until he came to the bottom of my bra. I moved away fromhim long enough to pull my shirt up and over my head, tossing itacross the room, not caring where it landed. I brought my handsdown to the hem of his shirt, ready to drag it over his head so Icould get my hands on his hard body without any barriers. I rakedmy nails across the skin that met the top of his pants. He groanedagainst my lips, exciting me further. That is until his hand haltedmy upward motion. I groaned a frustrated sound.
“I want to feel you,let me take your shirt off,” I demanded as I looked at his puffywell-kissed lips.
He shook his headbefore meeting my gaze with a serious expression. “We need to talkbefore this goes any further, Red,” he rumbled.
I didn’t know why hewanted to talk, I wanted to fuck. I needed to fuck, hard and fast.I shook my head and leaned forward bringing my mouth to his neck. Ikissed, sucked, and licked my way up to his ear.
“How about we talkafter you fuck me?” I whispered before bringing my hand down to thefront of his pants. I rubbed along the impressive bulge,withdrawing a deep groan from him. I smiled as I nipped his ear andtried to undo his belt with quick fingers.
He stopped my handsonce more and leaned further back away from me. I pouted athim.
“Fine,” I said. “Ifyou won’t let me take your clothes off, I will just take mine off.”I reached behind my back to unfasten my bra. He grabbed my wristsand brought them back to my front with those hard eyes again.
“I’m serious, Jill.What I have to say might change your feelings. I won’t let you getin over your head with me. I want this to work.” He paused longenough to see that I was listening. I looked at him with pursedlips, waiting for him to continue so I could get down tobusiness.
“I have certain …tastes when it comes to sex that we need to discuss,” he finallyallowed.
“What do you mean?Do you have like a foot fetish or something? That’s okay, I’ve beenwith plenty of men and you wouldn’t believe some of the freaky shitthey’re into. This one guy, couldn’t get off until I p—”
“Stop. Talking,” hedemanded with a hard voice. I clamped my mouth shut at the suddenchange in his demeanor. “I don’t want to hear about you being withother men. I know you’re not a virgin but I don’t want to thinkabout other men touching you,” he growled my way.
His tone should haveput fear into me but all I could feel was pure arousal coursingthrough my body as I looked up at him. I was so hot right now and Iwas afraid if he didn’t touch me soon I was going to combust. I satsilently, waiting for him to finish speaking. He took pity on me bybringing his hands back up my torso, coming to rest along my ribs.I sighed and leaned into his touch.
“Like I was saying,I like my sexual experiences to be a certain way. I, also, havecontrolling tendencies. Mine are different in a way, though. Duringour everyday lives, I will let you lead me around by my balls,Jill. You tell me to jump and I will ask you how high. I can be thebest man you’ve ever been with, baby. There are only two placeswhere I demand complete and utter obedience. One is if we are everin a dangerous situation—I expect you tolisten to my direction. No hesitation.”
He was rubbing smallcircles under my breasts as he was talking. I was still listeningto him but I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering about otherthings as well. I looked into his dark gaze, willing him to finishtalking so we could move on to more enticing activities.
He almost seemedhesitant as he continued speaking. “The second is in the bedroom. Iwant you to submit to me in every way. I want to take yourpleasure. If I say I want you on your knees, willing and ready tosuck my cock, I expect you to do so happily. If I want to tie youup and fuck you silly, I want you willing to let me. And I willreward you by bringing you the most pleasure you have everexperienced in your life. I want to spank your ass red when youpiss me off and then make you come until you can’t see straight. Iwant to dominate you, Red.”
He stopped talkingto take in my reaction. I’m not sure how I looked on the outside,but on the inside, I was freaking the fuck out. I felt like someonehad dumped a bucket of ice-cold water over my naked body.
I pushed his handsdown and away from me as I visibly shrank in on myself. He removedhis hands from me but when I tried to push at his chest he didn’tbudge. Panic set in as my breathing picked up and I looked aroundthe room for something I could fight him off with if needed.
