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"Ah, you Americans, you miss out on the finer things in life. Come visit me and I'll treat you to a proper tea."

"With little sandwiches too?"

"Of course, and biscuits."

I can't imagine him dining over a dainty tea service. "What else do you have in your dressing room?"

"Wait a sec. I'm not divulging any more secrets of my inner sanctum. How will I lure you up here? If you want to know, you'll have to visit."

"You sound desperate," I tease.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. Hey, I'm at five minutes to places. I'll ring you later."

"I'll be here."