Page 70 of Cowgirl Tough


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When he’d first arrived home, he’d gone directly to his own entrance, avoiding the main house altogether. He hadn’t wanted to see anyone, but especially his mother. Not when he’d had no freaking idea what had just happened.

He’d paced the floor, barely resisting throwing a couple of things just for the satisfaction of hearing the crash. He’d tried working on updating the app for the fence line program, but that made him think of the drones that used it, and he was right back where he’d been. He’d tried working a bit on the ranch bookkeeping software, where he’d been adding a couple of new functions, but that made him think of how the Roths had been his first enthusiastic users—and promoters—and he was right back where he’d been. He’d tried catching up on email, but the first one he saw was from Mark, confirming their meeting tomorrow for the casts, and he was right back where he’d been.

Then an alarm on his phone had gone off, and for a moment he’d been glad of the distraction, until he saw it was the reminder for Britt’s pain meds, and he was right back where he’d been.

And not wanting to hear her furious voice again—although he was doubtful she would answer if he called—he’d texted her the reminder. At least he’d left the pills close to her on the end table, along with a bottle of water, so she should be set, not having to try and get up. He’d just wearily realized he should probably let her parents know he wasn’t there to help when her text had come in.

Were you only here because you felt guilty?

He wanted to deny it. But it would be a lie, because it had started out that way. Just like it would have been a lie to simply keep going along with her assumption that it had been the rockslide that had spooked Ghost. Even if it would have been easier, and this blowup would never have happened.

So this would have likely happened even if Chance hadn’t texted him at that moment with the proof. Which he needed to thank his brother for, despite the eruption it had caused. He hadn’t needed to do that, go out and hunt that thing down when he was trying to get a new dog settled. But he had, because that’s what Raffertys did for each other.

He reeled his dodging mind back in and stared at the phone’s screen. And finally resorted to the simple, bare-bones truth.

I came because I felt guilty. But that’s not why I stayed.

He tossed the phone down on the table. He was developing a serious headache, the kind he rarely got. And he had a lot of driving to do tomorrow, starting in too few hours from now, so he needed to get some sleep.

Right. That’ll go well.

He lay awake for an hour or so. When he finally did sleep it was fitful, restless, and roiled by dreams of things that it now seemed would never happen. He woke twice thinking he needed to get up and check on her and was halfway out of bed before he remembered.

It never occurred to him that what had happened, or Britt’s fury, changed anything as far as tomorrow. It had to be done. He’d said he’d do it, and so he would. But he knew the moment the alarm went off and he got up and moving that mere coffee wasn’t going to do it. A triple espresso from Java Time might do it, but they wouldn’t be open in time so he’d have to find someplace on the way. Then he had a thought and went for a can of Coke from the fridge. The bite of the beverage helped, and he guzzled it to get the caffeine flowing.

By the time he was in his SUV and rolling, he was only ten minutes behind where he’d wanted to be. It was early enough that he should be able to make it up. If he got there at ten, figure a couple of hours with Mark, then headed back straight, he should hit the hospital between five and six. Unless he had to dodge traffic or any accidents.

Or get in one yourself because you’re running on five hours of lousy sleep…

As it turned out he made it up and more, thanks to a warning from the GPS system that there was a tangle on the interstate south of Fort Worth and he bailed off early.

Seeing Mark again was almost enough distraction. The guy was rightfully proud of the company he worked for and what they did and getting the grand tour and seeing the way they worked not only diverted his thoughts, it also gave him a couple of ideas of things he wanted to look into later. They spent a nice lunch both reminiscing and looking forward, and Mark thankfully was consumed enough with that not to ask about the woman the package he’d picked up was for. Because Cody had no idea what he would have said.

I hated her, then loved her, now she hates me.

Sounded like the lyrics to an achingly corny old country song.

On the way back he decided that was exactly what he needed and tuned in a country classics stream. By the time he hit Waco he was getting into it, by Temple he was humming along, and by Round Rock, tapping a finger on the wheel. Then an achingly sweet classic came on, something about a guy trying to convince his love to stay forever, letting him put his loving arms around her, that he wouldn’t let her fall. That hit a little too close to home. The memories of carrying Britt came rushing back, and he shut down the music.

After that his only company was his whirring thoughts. But the bottom line never changed: his reluctance to tell her everything out of fear it would destroy the totally unexpected connection they’d discovered had in fact been the thing that did destroy it. He wanted to hope that she might forgive him, might at least understand why he’d delayed, but to do that she’d have to believe he would have told her the truth today. And while their relationship might have changed, he knew Britt was still Britt…or Roth.

When his phone rang and he saw it was his mother, he almost didn’t answer. Only the fact that she knew he was on the road and would worry if he didn’t, drove him to hit the button on the media screen. Although the first thing she said after his hello made him wish he hadn’t.

“What happened?”

He sighed. “I’m guessing you don’t mean in Fort Worth.”

“Don’t play games, Cody. I just talked to Angie.”

Great.

“Then you know what happened. Britt threw me out.”

“Yes. What I don’t know is why.”

That threw him for a moment. “She didn’t tell you?”

“No. She said that was up to you.”

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