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What day?
Carys
Do you live under a rock, Dec?
Declan
Sorry. I have a job, Carys. A kinda important one.
Nattie
Ohh. Did you hear that? He’s important.
Declan
Whatever. What did I miss? Did they change Dad’s treatment?
Nattie
No. It’s Callen and Caitlin’s appointment. She’s twenty weeks, so Callen said they’re going to find out the sex of the baby.
Carys
Cooper and Callen are on a run this morning. I’ll ask him what time the appointment is when they get in and let you know.
Ijog into Cooper’s kitchen as he chants the theme song fromRocky.
“Dude, it wasn’t a race.” I laugh as Carys shakes her head from across the island and slides a tray of sugar cookies in the oven. The house smells like Christmas on crack.
“Dude,” Coop mocks me. “Sounds like something a loser would say.”
“Ignore him, Callen. He’s old and has to prove his masculinity.” She smiles, and Coop smacks her ass.
“Pretty sure I already proved that this morning.”
Carys blushes and tucks her hair behind her ear, and I look away.
“Come on, guys... I’m good. I don’t need to see it.” I groan and raid their fridge for a bottle of water.
“Sorry, little brother.” Carys pulls away from Cooper and takes her tea over to the kitchen table. “Today’s the big day, right?”
“Yeah. In about two hours,” I tell her, equal parts excited and freaked the fuck out. The family has taken the news well. They’re happy for us, but in typical fashion for my family, they want to be overly involved. Mom’s ready to buy baby clothes already. Carys needed to tell her no. I think Dad already ordered a Kings jersey. “So, you want to tell me what it’s going to be like?”
Lines pinch Carys’s forehead as confusion sets in. “Being a parent?”
“No, the doctor’s visit,” I admit sheepishly. I’m not even thinking about when the baby gets here. I’m not sure it’s possible for me to think that far ahead when I’m struggling to get through the day-to-day with Caitlin. Being so close to her and somehow being as far apart as we’ve ever been is fucking killing me. I guess that’s why I’ve been trying to read everything I can about the pregnancy. When all else fails, I prepare. Study. Learn everything I can. Whether it’s watching tapes or apparently, reading every baby book I can get my hands on. “I mean, I’ve read a few of the books.” Lies. I’ve read them all. “But I figured you did this all with Nattie when she was doing the whole surrogate thing for you, right? You were at all the appointments. Does it hurt? The sonogram? What am I supposed to do for her?”
“Callen...” She lays her hand on my arm and squeezes. “Haven’t you talked to Caitlin about it?”
My heart sinks.
I knew I’d have my work cut out for me, but I guess I didn’t think it would be this bad.
“Yeah.” Cooper sucks air in through his teeth. “Our boy isn’t exactly talking to his baby mama.”
“Asshole.” I flip the cap of the water bottle at him, but the fucker catches it like Mr. Miyagi catching a fly. I already told him Caitlin and I are struggling to find a new normal. Less her and more me. She seems fine with being pissed. I’m the one trying to fix it. To fix us. Because there’s no way this is how it’s supposed to be. Supposed to end. We don’t end. I refuse to accept anything else.
“Maybe. But I’m not wrong. How the hell are you living together but not talking?” He tosses me back the cap. “I know you can talk to girls. I’ve watched you do it.”
