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“I know,” I say. “And I know why. Him. And me. I let you walk away. I shouldn’t have.”
“But you did.”
“I’m not a man who opens up to others easily. I’m not a man who has wanted to be anything but alone. Give me a chance to get used to the new me you created before you cut me open and look inside.”
“Cut you open? Is that what you think I’ll do to you?”
I inhale sharply and look skyward. Fuck. I glance down at her. “It was a bad choice of words.”
“It’s what you think relationships are, right? Something that hurts you?”
“It’s not what we are.”
“You just said—”
“Abbie,” I plead softly. “Give me time. Be with me. Just—be with me. I don’t want that woman inside. I don’t want anyone but you and I’ll say that as many times as you need me to say it, but I’ll show you, too.” I stroke her hair. “But you have to give me a chance to do that.”
She studies me, those green eyes of hers glinting with gold in the sunlight, probing my face, searching for something—I don’t know what. Perhaps signs that I’m like her ex-husband and I hope like hell she doesn’t find them. I hope like hell that she doesn’t figure out that the reason I’m so damn equipped to handle him for her is how much like him I am.
Seconds tick by that pass like minutes, hell, like hours, until her hand is resting on my chest, flattening, fingers flexing. “I won’t cut you open and look inside, Gabe, but I’d like to know the man beneath the surface. The one you show no one else. You have to give me the chance to show you that you can trust me, too.”
More like time to decide if she can handle the real me, but I doubt I’ll change my mind on that point. She can’t. I stroke hair from her eyes. “I’m standing right here, and I don’t want to turn away. I want to go to the ranch with you. I want to get on a chopper with you. And I want you in my bed again tonight. What do you do want, Abbie?”
“All of those things with the promise of no heartache.”
It’s a raw, honest answer, spoken with torment in her eyes, torment I don’t want her to feel. “I will never intentionally hurt you. You have my word and soon, you’ll know my word is gold. If I give it, I mean it.” I run my thumb along her bottom lip. “Let’s go check on your mother and then go back to the city.”
“Yes. Let’s.” Her eyes light with hope that fills me with satisfaction. I want her. I can’t just take her because that would be fucking. That would be about pleasure, not satisfaction, and for the first time in my life, the two things are not one. Satisfaction is defined differently. It’s not just sex.
I lace the fingers of my free hand with hers, and lead her to my car, opening the door for her. She slips inside and settles into the leather seat. I seal her inside, and I consider the need to steal her away, to take her on a trip and just spend a solid week getting toknow her, but that won’t happen. Not as long as her ex is stalking her mother. She needs to protect her. I need to protect them both. I need time with Abbie and I need some time alone to make some arrangements to handle this problem once and for all.
I climb into the car with her and set the donuts in the back. Beside me, Abbie struggles with her belt and it jolts back to its home position. I reach over her, grab it and pause mid-way. “I got it. It’s tricky. It’ll get away from you if you let it.” I soften, a rough quality etching my tone as I add, “I won’t.” Heat rushes between us, expanding in the car, in my chest. “I never let anything important get away, Abbie.” I clamp the belt into position. “That means you.”
“I can’t be important yet.”
“And yet you are.”
“We’ll see,” she whispers.
“We’ll see,” I agree, satisfied for now, with her willing to do just that. Wait and see. Open her life and let me in. “And about those boundaries. I don’t have any when it comes to what I want.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad quality.”
She’s hit ten nails on the head. It’s not a good quality. It is, however, what wins. And it’s the quality that will ensure I get her ex out of her life, and keep her in mine.
“I guess you’ll have to try me and see.” I settle into my seat and crank the car.
A few minutes later, we pull into the ranch. I park and Abbie turns to me. “I have to tell her what’s going on, Gabe. Even if this legal stuff is all fake and a set-up, I have to tell her. I can’t let her get sideswiped. She’ll be more afraid if she doesn’t know you know people involved, and you know this isn’t real. Will you talk to me with her?”
She just asked for my help for the first time since we met. “Yes. We’ll talk to her together.”
I exit the car and go around to get Abbie, but once she’s out of the car, I take a moment for some space. “I need to make a couple of calls.” I kiss her. “Go check on your mother. I’ll be right there.”
She pushes to her toes and kisses me. She says nothing, but she lingers there, her lips on mine, and I want her to linger there forever.
When she pushes away and starts a jog toward the stables, I pull out my phone. Time to do what I do best: take what I want and get rid of the problems. In this case, her ex.
Chapter forty-three
