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“It was bad?”
“It was—fuck, yeah, it was bad, Abbie, but you know bad. I know you get it.”
She inhales and lets it out. “What I admitted—about my ex, about what he did to me—Gabe, I know it makes me pressure you, it makes me struggle with trust. I just want to say that I know that’s not fair to you. I know what happened earlier wasn’t just about you. It was about me. It was about him.”
I lean in and kiss her, my hand at the back of her head. “I will remind you that I’m not him until you don’t need to be reminded anymore. And you—”
“And I’ll remind you that I’m not her until you don’t need to be reminded anymore.”
I don’t tell her that I’ll have to be reminded for the rest of my life. I damn sure don’t tell her that Kendall is the one person who might have the power to destroy us. The way I destroyed her.
Chapter sixty-nine
Abbie
Gabe and I eat pizza, binge-watch three episodes of Game of Thrones, and then I end up in a hot bath while he walks Dexter. They arrive back in a burst of energy, with Dexter all but leaping into the tub, and I’m officially laughing. I laugh a lot with these two but there are a few perfectly surreal moments. The first happens as I’m drying off and pulling on one of Gabe’s T-shirts, while he and Dexter are roughhousing on the bathroom floor, making my efforts near impossible. I scold them and I’m immediately pulled into the battle.
The next surreal moment is when Gabe pulls me into bed, my head on his shoulder, holding me close, my body cocooned in blankets and him. It’s the kind of perfection I’ve never known with a man. I didn’t think I’d ever even go to bed with another man after my divorce, let alone find it this perfect.
The third surreal moment is directly after the second, when Dexter jumps on the end of the bed. Smart boy that he is, he doesn’t crowd us, but rather, takes a corner. Gabe lifts his head and glances at Dexter. “Smooth operator for a serial killer, isn’t he?”
I laugh. “Yes, he is.”
He strokes my hair. “You’re coming to work with me tomorrow.” It’s not a question, and he doesn’t stop there. “I’ll set you up with Human Resources. We’ll get you started on a new career.”
Surreal moment over, I inch up to my elbow to look at him. “I need to be at the shelter with my mother.”
“Your mother needs to stay away from the shelter. There are no animals there. Grab your phone. Text her and tell her to come to my office tomorrow.”
“Your office?” I ask, rolling over and grabbing my phone before sitting up. “You think she should come to your office? And even if she did, which she won’t, isn’t that disruptive to your staff?”
“She can stay with the new boyfriend. Just keep her out of the spotlight.”
“Boyfriend? Oh god. She does have a boyfriend. Why do I feel so weird about that? She’s a grown woman. A beautiful woman. She never dates. I should be happy for her.”
He raises up on his elbow. “You’re not happy for her?”
“I am.I am.”
“Two I ams. That means you aren’t.”
“No, I am.”
“Three I ams,” he teases. “You don’t like Brandon?”
“He’s fine. I barely know him.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’m protective, I guess. I’m projecting my history on her, I think. I don’t want her to get burned.”
“And yet here you are with me.” His voice softens. “I’m going to burn you, Abbie.”
“Not on purpose.” I punch in my mother’s number.
“Not on purpose?” he asks.
“It’s ringing,” I say dodging that ball. “Abigail?” my mother greets groggily. “Is everything okay?”
