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I could only imagine what he saw in mine, my spirit wholly swallowed by the enormity of this moment, of giving myself to Gollaya Verbane in every way. For it was no longer simply a bodily exchange, but a passing of my soul into his keeping. I could not have allowed him to enter my body without giving him a piece of my spirit in return.
I gave it willingly, gladly. In the intensity of the pain my body felt, there was a bone-deep knowing that he was a part of me for forever now. And I was glad of it.
The magnitude of the moment, the discovery that I wanted him, that I wanted to be his mizrah and his mate, crashed through me like a dizzying maelstrom. A tear slipped from the corner of one eye into my hair.
Goll noticed and flinched, still stroking inside me.
“Fuck,” he muttered looking away as he thrust deeper and faster, closing his eyes and frowning.
I clutched him harder to me as I felt the swell of his cock, the pleasure beginning to grow brighter, not overtaking the pain but getting close. On an animalistic groan, he pumped hard and deep and held, his cock pulsing as he emptied his seed.
The sensation was wildly glorious. I closed my eyes, another tear slipping free as I clung to his body pressed to mine, trembling with his climax. When his cock stopped throbbing, his rigid body loosened, both of us panting in the dark of my bedchamber.
I wasn’t sure what to say, but I was desperate to hear some words of encouragement from him, that I hadn’t failed in some way, for he had seemed disappointed and upset for the majority of the ceremony. And especially by the way he was looking at me now.
I opened my mouth to ask him when he withdrew from my body, his gaze glancing down between our legs. He hurried out of the bed and grabbed the tunic, retying it around his waist with quick, sharp movements.
“I’ll send for Hava to tend to you.” His voice was cold and unfeeling.
I sat up, pulling the sheet over my breasts, remembering that I was still covered in paint. “Goll, why are you—?”
“You don’t have to worry about me forcing my attentions on you again anytime soon. I’ll give your body time to heal before I return to your bed. I’ll not bother you until your breeding time.”
Then as he marched swiftly for the door, my heart sunk with despair.
Yes, my breeding time. Of course, that was his main concern. Even while I’d opened my soul tonight and given him more than my body, all he truly wanted from me was his heir.
When he opened the door, he stopped, but it wasn’t to speak to me. There was someone right outside.
“She’ll need a hot bath,” he told the person.
“Yes, my liege.” Hava’s quiet voice. “The courtiers are concerned they did not witness the claiming.”
A harsh noise then, “Whichever courtier has a fucking problem with the ceremony, they can address it directly to me. There was enough of her blood for evidence. And more on her sheets if the royal council needs more proof.”
“Yes, my king,” Hava agreed quickly.
“Once they’re drunk and fat off the feast, they won’t care anyway,” he snapped before marching away.
Hava rushed in and came to me. “Mizrah, are you well?”
I curled away from her into the covers. “I need a moment, Hava,” I whispered.
“Of course, Mizrah.”
She set about doing things quietly. I heard her pulling the tub toward the fire, but I kept still, my eyes closed.
As much as the pain was when he entered my body, it wasn’t quite as great as the pain I felt when he left it. I hadn’t realized that I’d feel this way afterwards.
For a brief moment, nothing but wild elation and joy filled me at the sensation of giving my body to him. Then the sudden reversal of being engulfed with disappointment and sorrow at his neglect.
It was my own foolishness that had brought me here. His rejection did not mean that this still wasn’t the right course. A fervent rightness about tonight still thrummed through me, my magick singing that we were on the right path. I had to sever my hopes for a true mating with Goll and focus on my real destiny here.
A sharp pain stung both my wrists on the underside. I gasped and jolted upright. Hava had left the room, probably to fetch hot water, so I was alone to witness the newly burned markings into my skin. They were a tiny zigzag rune I didn’t know, the exact same on both wrists.
I wiped at the gold paint partially hiding them to see them better. I had no idea a moon fae could receive demon runes from the gods.
“It’s never happened before,” I whispered to myself, staring down at the tiny, jagged markings right over my thin veins.
