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Why do I even bother?A picture of Hope entered Bebe’s mind, and she made one last attempt. “She doesn’t have to sleep over. I’d be happy to drive her up to Atlanta and occupy myself while you two visit.”Visit.Her lip curled in derision.
“I’mbusy. Don’t you get it? You’re the one with the time since you’re a teacher.” There couldn’t have been any more derision if he’d putteacherin an online dictionary with the definitionuseless.
“Fine,” she snapped. Why did she continue to try, year after year? He hadn’t bothered to see Hope since the ink dried on their divorce papers. Even when they were married, Will had been away from home more than he’d ever been present. It was Bebe who’d attempted to keep their marriage together. She’d been so worried about being labeled a failure that she’d put up with way too much disrespect.
“Thank you.” His words were clipped with annoyance. “Tell her I’ll call her on Christmas.”
“Her birthday is Christmas Eve,Will.”
“I’ll be busy helping Angie,Lucille.Besides, Hope won’t care. Birthdays don’t matter that much at her age. Bye.”
She stared in disbelief at her mobile screen. How could hethink the day after Hope’s birthday would be good enough? “Birthdays don’t matter at her age? Do you even know how old she is now?” Her jaw clenched.
Lord, why does that man think he doesn’t have to show up?
Bebe stared at her phone again, hot tears pressing against her eyelids.How long will Hope have to pay for my mistakes?She bit the inside of her lip and sniffed. Tilting her head back, she looked up at the ceiling.Don’t cry, don’t cry.
Three years. Three years since the divorce paperwork had been finalized. Almost eight years since he’d first cheated on her. Why had she stuck around after that? That should have been enough to send her back home right then and there. She was done shedding tears for herself, but her precious girl didn’t deserve his indifference.
A knock sounded at her bedroom door. Bebe glanced at the clock on the nightstand.9:30 p.m.She blew out a breath, getting rid of any evidence of her sorrow even though Hope might notice anyway. Her girl didn’t miss much. “Come in.”
Hope peeked her head through the door, her little pink silk bonnet covering her hair. “Mama, I had a bad dream.”
“Oh, baby girl, I’m so sorry.” She patted the spot next to her on the mattress of her four-poster bed. “Climb in.”
Hope ran and leaped onto the bed, grinning the entire time. Her gap-toothed smile pulled one from Bebe and made her wonder if her daughter really had a bad dream or just wanted some snuggles.
“Will you tell me about the wise men, Mama? And maybe I could sleep in here tonight?” Her doe eyes looked hopeful.
Bebe turned on her side, facing her sweet girl. “Just tonight.”
“Yes!” Hope grinned, showcasing even more of her missing teeth. Seven was such a precious age. No longer a baby or toddling after Bebe, but not so grown that she distanced herself from her mother.
Whispering, Bebe told the story from memory. It was their tradition to talk of the men who searched for the Child King each Christmas season. Bebe painted a picture of a sky so dark but full of God’s light. How the stars illuminated the darkness, but one in particular was their guide.
“A baby’s a special thing, right, Mama?”
“The best, pumpkin.” She traced a finger down Hope’s face. Her cheeks had thinned out over the years, but that childish joy remained in her green eyes, ones that mirrored Bebe’s own.Lord, don’t let her lose that joy in You.
“But Jesus was extra special,” Hope added.
“He sure was, and the wise men wanted to pay homage.”
Hope’s nose wrinkled at the word. Bebe used it every time she told the story, so her girl was used to hearing the difficult word. She just didn’t understand why adults used big words when there were easier choices available.
Bebe picked the story back up, lowering her voice until Hope’s eyes began to drift closed. Finally, she finished the tale. She closed her own eyes and sighed.Lord, please let her remain full of faith, hope, and love. May she remember You are a perfectFather, even when her dad isn’t. May she alwaysremember the reason for the season. In Jesus’s name, amen.
Bebe stared at the Walker residence from her walkway. Candles glowed in the windows, and the simple white lights outlining the roof brightened the night sky. The wind danced through the trees surrounding the home, which gave the white lights in the trees the appearance of dancing. The porch light illuminated the front door as the porch swing swayed in the breeze. The house seemed to welcome her presence, but knowing who was inside had Bebe hesitating to go any farther.
She clutched the opening of her sweater. Any moment she’d gather the nerve needed to cross her patch of grass and steponto the Walkers’ greener side. Tonight the church’s Christmas committee was meeting with the Reverend and his wife to determine this year’s holiday program. Last year was the first time they had deviated from the Reverend’s tradition of a long sermon. Mrs. Walker had convinced him that times were changing and adapting to the younger crowd would prevent parishioners from leaving. The congregants were always restless when the Reverend decided to become long-winded, but Christmas brought out the worst—or best?—in him.
Last year, they’d separated the children from the parents for festivities. The kids had made Christmas ornaments: stars with Scripture written on them. After service, they’d held a potluck. Everyone had loved the turn of events—well, except for Reverend Walker. He’d stood to the side looking very much like Scrooge. She wasn’t sure why he was so opposed to enjoying life, but considering the small population of Peachwood Bay, going to another church wasn’t an option unless she wanted to travel out of town. However, he wasn’t all bad. Bebe learned a lot from listening to his sermons, even when he went past the allotted time.
But that was neither here nor there. What she needed to do was place one foot in front of the other so that she could help plan this year’s event. So what if she ran into Jahleel? Most likely he’d be holed up in his room.
Yet the idea of seeing him again made her feel like a watermelon with a thousand rubber bands squeezing it. An extra car had been in the Walkers’ driveway when she came home from work yesterday, but now the car was gone. Probably Jay’s physical therapist. Did that mean Jahleel had left as well?
Bebe glanced down the gravel road that served four other homes, all lit up with Christmas cheer. The Cavanaughs’ home had the most decorations, ballooned Christmas figures filling their small yard. Bebe glanced back at her own home. She should put lights up this weekend.
