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I took a step toward him, and he held up his hands. The man had just kissed me senseless, but the wallflower in me, the awkward girl with a hopeless crush on the hottest guy in school, was cut deep by his rejection. I shrank back against the counter.
Caleb lowered his hands and fisted them at his sides, his eyes sad. Without another word, he walked out, leaving me standing in a mess of flour and feelings, unsure if I could clean either up.
Chapter eleven
Cal
Chris was waiting onmy front steps when I returned from my run, tossing a football between his hands. “Thanks for doing this,” he said. He smiled up at me with so much enthusiasm, I felt a fresh stab of guilt for delaying his training because I was too chickenshit to touch a football.
“No problem. Let me grab some water and Skye before we head out.” I walked past him into the house, leaving the wooden door open but shutting the glass storm door to keep the heat out and my dog in. Skye trotted toward me with her leash in her mouth, wagging her tail. At least two out of three of us were excited.
I assumed Rowan wouldn’t tell Chris about what happened yesterday, but I knew I’d shoved my tongue into his sister’s mouth. And the way she’d responded to every little touch. Fuck. If that bag hadn’t fallen, no telling how far it’d have gone. Judging by that kiss, sex with Rowan would be as incredible as it was impractical. I had to get myself under control before I saw her again.
Skye let out a huff when I walked past her into the kitchen. I filled a glass with water from the tap and downed it before filling it again.
I should browse a hookup app for someone to take the edge off. I hadn’t gotten laid since everything with Avery went sideways. It was clearly affecting my judgment. Even if Rowan wasn’t a patient, she was exactly the type I avoided: A picket-fence woman. The kind who could shred your heart to pieces. I’d bet my house she’d have stayed with her ex a lifetime if he hadn’t been the world’s biggest idiot. I could only offer fun, not forever. Every woman I’d slept with since the accident knew I didn’t do relationships, and it had worked just fine, until Avery circled back around.
The kiss with Rowan had me on edge, but something else twisted my stomach in knots. I hadn’t held a football since Logan died. Aiden, Logan, and I had continued training together long after the season ended our senior year. Aiden had a football scholarship to Tech, and I’d hoped to get a spot at JMU as a walk-on. We’d ribbed each other all summer about the prospect of playing on opposing teams. Logan had no intention of playing again since he’d joined the ROTC program at William and Mary, but he trained with us to stay in shape. Football was the reason we’d become friends and the reason we’d stuck together. Even Theo suffered through four seasons of pee-wee football before Mr. Makris finally accepted that his only son preferred art to sports. Logan, Aiden, and I played so well together, our high school coach put us on the varsity team freshman year. Honestly, only Aiden belonged, but Logan was a tank at fourteen and protected Aiden like no one else. I just ran as fast as I could and prayed I wouldn’t get flattened every time I caught a pass. Theo never missed a game.
I’d never be able to hold a football and not think of Logan and everything we’d lost, so I’d avoided it. Until now.
I finished my water, left the glass on the counter, and walked back to the front door. Skye followed, bumping into my legs when I crouched to grab my gear. I hesitated. Just looking at the bag and the stack of cones made the water in my stomach swirl. I should have tossed this stuff years ago. Instead, I’d moved it from apartment to apartment until it landed in my attic with all the other things that reminded me of Logan.
Skye dropped the leash and put her front paws on my chest with a whimper. I rubbed her soft ears and gave the top of her head a kiss. She spotted something behind me and let out an excited bark.
“Hey, girl,” Chris said as he opened the storm door. She spun in a circle and picked up her leash with her mouth.
“We’re taking a car ride first,” I told her. She vibrated with excitement and bolted out the door. I grabbed my gear and locked up while Chris loaded Skye into the back of the SUV. He carried the conversation on the way to the park, thanking me twice for fitting in my run early, so we could train before I left for work.
“Seriously,” I said, pulling to a stop in front of the park. “I don’t mind.”
“I would have come with you,” Chris said, as he grabbed the gear. I snapped the leash onto Skye’s collar while she pranced on the sidewalk. “But I didn’t want to wake up Mom or Ann. They’re both insanely light sleepers.”
Hearing her name, even in abbreviated form, made the knot in my stomach tighten. I felt like throwing up. As we entered the deserted park, I glanced around for a discrete place to hurl, if needed, and caught sight of a tall figure walking toward us.
“Bout time y’all got here,” Theo said.
Skye barked and ran for him, yanking the leash from my hand. My dog was having the best morning of her life. I was doing mybest not to curl into the fetal position under Peace Falls’s award-winning roses.
“You must be Chris,” Theo said, holding out his hand. “I’m Theo.”
“Nice to meet you,” Chris said, greeting Theo like meeting a tattooed felon at the park at dawn was something he did every Tuesday.
“I’m going to keep an eye on Skye while you train,” he said. Skye plopped onto his combat boots as if to agree. “You starting with a warmup, Chris? Cal looks like he’s already sweated half a gallon this morning.”
Chris glanced at me and frowned. “Yeah, Cal got his run in, but I’m cold. I’ll jog a couple minutes to loosen up, if that’s ok with you, Cal.”
I nodded. Chris dropped the gear and took off at a steady pace.
Skye ran back to me and whimpered. Theo stepped closer and gripped my shoulder while Skye rubbed against my legs. “Poppy mentioned you planned to train Chris here this morning. Guess the kid was so excited to finally toss the ball, he’s been talking about it nonstop. He reminds me of Aiden.”
He wasn’t wrong. None of us loved playing the game as much as Aiden had. Chris had that same passion. My throat tightened. I no longer felt like puking, but crying was a very real possibility. “Shit, this is hard,” I said.
Theo nodded. “Just focus on Chris. You’ll be ok. If that doesn’t work, picture his sister naked.”
“You want me to picture Poppy naked?”
He punched my shoulder, hard, and I laughed. The knot in my stomach eased.
