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And I come so hard I feel my soul leave my fucking body.
It hits Sebastian’s chest and neck and … his face. He doesn’t seem to care and strokes me through it, never breaking that intense eye contact, watching every single second of my unraveling like he’s recording it. He doesn’t let me go until it’s over and I feel like my bones have melted out of my body. The second he releases me, I flop backward on the bed, lying there panting while Sebastian moves around the room. I don’t know what he’s doing, but I’m too fucked out to care.
Eventually, the mattress shifts, and Sebastian climbs onto the bed. I don’t give him time to ask or deliberate. I find his legs and pull him over to me, encouraging him to straddle my shoulders.
“Give me your cock,” I say.
I’m lying on my back, but that’s no hindrance when Sebastian positions himself over my face, unzips his pants and feeds his cock past my lips. I take him eagerly, closing my eyes and savoring his salty taste, the musk of his scent all around me. I groan and grip his ass with one hand, squeezing to encourage him, and he dives at my throat, spearing his cock into my mouth. One hard slap to the ass has him pistoning his hips even harder, but I’m ready to take it, eager to take it. And unlike him, I don’t want the mess on my body. When he whimpers that he’s close, I moan around him and give his ass a squeeze until he empties down my throat in a burst.
Sebastian gets off of me and flops onto his back. For a moment, we both lie there on his mattress, our breathing texturing the warm, inky darkness of his bedroom. It’s hard to believe that all of this started with some graffiti on a window, but when I went to investigate the incident, Sebastian was not what I expected. Our conversation tonight was not what I expected either. The way he lit up when he talked about teaching dance — it’s a feeling I know well, a feeling I never imagined he might share. It caught me off-guard to have anything in common with someone so beautiful, so out, so different from me in every possible way.
It almost makes me wish this didn’t have to be a one-time thing. But that’s impossible, of course.
Chapter Seven
Sebastian
I’M STILL TRYING TO catch my breath when Luke sits up beside me.
I don’t bother chasing him. He made it clear what this was before we ever got out of his car. He’s not straight, but he’s so deep in that closet that it’s no wonder I overlooked him. He wouldn’t even let us kiss; he’s definitely not staying here now that we’ve both gotten off. The transaction is complete. It’s time to move on.
God, that’s bleak. Even I have had a boyfriend before. Never for very long, but those brief relationships are probably more than Luke has experienced. I can’t believe he’s spent three decades living like this — slinking from one anonymous hookup to the next, swearing everyone to secrecy, keeping his “real” life far away from it.
The most baffling part iswhy?Why? It’s not the eighties anymore. He can be out, even in a small town like Tripp Lake. All of us at the café are, and the worst we’ve suffered is that bit of graffiti on the window.
I’m not going to ask him. People have all kinds of reasons they want or need to not come out. It certainly isn’t my place to demand openness from a guy who’s made it clear this is nothing but a hookup.
By the time I sit up, propping myself up on my arms, Luke is feeling around on the floor to find his clothes. He’ll be dressed and out of here in record time, no doubt.
“You can turn on the light,” I offer.
“I’m fine,” he says.
I’m not sure if he’s actually fine or he can’t stand to cast this into the light. It’ll be easier to pretend he didn’t like me fucking his face if he never has to see me sitting here partially naked on the edge of the bed with his cum drying on my skin.
Luke manages to find his pants, which gets him his phone. He uses the flashlight, but keeps his back to me, so all I can see is a glowing outline of his big, sexy body as he collects his stuff. He turns the flashlight back off as he dresses, but I keep my eyes on his silhouette, not caring if he finds it uncomfortable. We agreed we were using each other to get off tonight; I’m allowed a last look.
I banish the bitterness from my heart. Luke was perfectly clear about what he wanted, what he could give.He did nothing wrong. Besides, how is this any different from anything else I do? The guys who eye me up at the club aren’t half as polite, even if most of them do try to buy me a drink. I never get to find out how much they love teaching, how sweet they are under the surface. It’s just sweat and hands and fucking. At least Luke was a gentleman.
If this is all I’ll ever get, if this is as much as anyone will ever give me, I should be grateful when it’s a nice guy like Luke instead of some jerk who doesn’t care about me getting off.
Luke finishes dressing and turns toward me. Even in the dark, I can tell he’s completely unrumpled, right back to looking like he came here from work. It feels unfair. I’ve still got his cum sticking to my skin, and he’s ready to walk into a school without a hair out of place.
“Hey, I hate to do this but…” he says.
Oh great. Here it comes. I will be sworn to secrecy so his damning secret can never tarnish him. What an ordeal it is for him to feel attracted to me. What a burden. I roll my eyes, counting on the dark to hide it.
“I was hoping we could keep this between us.”
There it is. As though I expected anything different. I knew from the second he asked to come in that he’d need to keep this all hush-hush.
“I know how it sounds,” Luke says. “It’s not you. I’m not … ashamed of you or something. It’s the school and everything.”
“Are they firing gay teachers now? Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.”
Luke winces. He does that a lot, I’ve noticed, like the weight of everything he’s biting back is so heavy that it lurches free of his control at the slightest provocation. How does this guy live this way? And again,why?
“No, they’re not like that,” he says. “There are some teachers who are out.”
