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I get up and go to the window, trying to pretend the information is irrelevant to me.
But the only conclusion to which I come is that since Zoe Turner came into my life, I’ve become an expert at lying to myself.
Zoe
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
BOSTON
I lookat the people sitting at the table, trying hard not to let my emotions show, but all I can think about is running out of here. The desire is so strong it makes me nauseous.
I’m in a cold sweat, and my forehead and palms are damp—I even thought I had caught the flu that has spread across the planet at an alarming rate. Several people have died, but no one knows for sure what the main form of contagion is.
I try to inhale, but the air doesn’t come.
It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way. It’s been happening ever since I married Mike six months ago.
Yes, I was stupid and needy enough to believe that someone like him, handsome, kind, older, someone my family knew, would make me forget about Christos Xander, when in fact, I always knew that, at least for me, there would never be another man. I thought that maybe I could have a fresh start, as my love life had been on pause since I left Barcelona.
Dreaming for the rest of my days about someone who, even if he wanted me, I wouldn’t allow myself to be with, was a journey down the road to madness.
I was so sick for the first few months that my mother went looking for apro bonopsychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression.
Talking with him helped me get back on my feet and forgive myself. Also, based on his advice, I did more research on the accident involving Christos and Pauline but found almost nothing other than some vague reports. They didn’t even explain who was to blame for the accident.
Her mother told me the Lykaios family was very wealthy and demanded a closed, confidential agreement. With no other option, she accepted it. The money, however, wasn’t enough to pay for a decent life for Pauline, but the alternative was to fight against the powerful Greek family in court for years, at the risk of them pulling strings and the lawsuit backfiring.
I researched his name more deeply only once: a Greek billionaire who migrated to the United States with his family as a child, always surrounded by beautiful women, and who, as far as I read, has never had a lasting relationship.
To my surprise, I also learned that his main business is focused on the fashion world, and I was astonished to see that his group owns the most famous brands on the planet.
Still, in all the fashion shows and events I’ve attended, we’ve never met, so I think he must have several people managing his wealth, as I remember well when he said he would buy the cruise ship fleet in which I worked at the time.
God, that seems to have happened in another life!
I’ve changed so much since then. If the situation had been today, I would never have locked myself in the ship’s bathroom in fear of the captain and the traitor Tamara, but I would have made such a fuss that even first class would hear. I’m still shy, but I never let people step on me. Now, I play by the rules oftit-for-tat.
People at the table keep talking loudly and laughing.
My head is pounding because I’m exhausted. I just want to go home and settle my story with Mike once and for all.
The day after tomorrow, I need to go to New York and introduce myself to my new employer.
A few months ago, Bia came to me with a proposal for a multi-million-dollar contract, an offer so unbelievablethat it was impossible to refuse. I signed without a second thought because Mom’s health care expenses are very high. She didn’t have health insurance before she got sick, and when I tried to get her one, they claimed a pre-existing illness, which was true. The fact is, no matter how hard I worked, my bank account was always practically empty. All I have left of my savings are a few stocks I invested in on the advice of Bia and Miguel.
So, it’s not like I can afford to say “no” to such a significant amount.
I’m going to New York just to work out the details, but it’s all legally agreed, and that’s one of the main reasons I want to file for a divorce today. Starting a new cycle without feeling like I’m in a constant war inside my own house will already be an advantage. I rarely stay in Boston for long, but when I do, I want peace, and I haven’t known the meaning of that word since I got married.
I’m nervous as hell about the meeting with the new employer—yes,employer, because they paid to have my face and body in their campaigns for the next five years.
I’m not as fragile as I used to be, and I credit that to therapy, but I haven’t gone from being a wild animal to the bravest person in the world, either. Premieres and interactions with strangers scare me, too, and there will be a bit of each in New York.
I hear Mike laugh and get even more irritated.
God, it was all wrong from the start.
The way I gave in to what I now see as cheap, well-rehearsed charm. I tried to make my mother happy because she liked the idea of me being in a relationship, but mostly I believed that a prince could rescue me from loneliness.
