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I read it three times before I’m sure my eyes aren’t deceiving me.
A mistake?
Did she call last nighta mistake?
Who are you really, Zoe Turner? You are not the same beautiful girl who fascinated me. She wouldn’tbe so cold in a farewell.
I replay everything that’s happened between us since the moment I first saw her.
Yes, I wasn’t very subtle in my approach, but I didn’t force it. I’ve never had to impose myself on a woman, and I even asked her yesterday if that’s what I was doing.
The urge to pick up the phone and clear everything up is overwhelming, but I’ll be dead before I let anyone crush my pride.
I’m Greek, and I don’t bow my head to any man or woman.
As of that second, Zoe Turner is in the past.
Zoe
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BOSTON
The cemetery is empty,almost as empty as my heart.
Nothing went as I expected when I returned home. The guilt still consumes me, but it competes with how much I miss him, and I hate myself for it.
How could I be so stupid?
Besides being who he is, he treated me like a prostitute when he allowed that woman to give me money like she did.
God, I’m so ashamed!
Is she used to this? To dismissing his dates?
I push those thoughts away. It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business.
“Hi, bestie. I didn’t do very well on our first trip. The ship was fun, even though I didn’t meet that many people. I’m still the same: shy and antisocial.”
I sit on the floor by the headstone and gather some dry leaves.
“Anyway, I took a bunch of pictures with you, and they look amazing, but I haven’t had the heart to develop them yet. I don’t feel like doing anything lately; I think I’m depressed. I didn’t tell Mom whathappened at my first job or later in Barcelona. Her health isn’t doing great, and Dad is afraid the cancer is back, but I’m so sad, Pauline.”
I wipe a tear that runs down my cheek.
“I’ve been back a week now and should have come to visit you, but I was . . . I’m still dying of embarrassment. I did a very bad thing, and first of all, I need your forgiveness. I read somewhere that friends forgive each other no matter what. Would you be able to do that for me?”
Someone walks by holding a girl by the hand, and I get distracted for a moment.
Has the little girl, like me at her age, lost a family member?
A bird sings in the distance as if forcing me to focus on what I came here to do.
“I know you are with me all the time, following my steps from heaven, Pauline, but even so, I feel obliged to ask for your forgiveness personally, even if I have already done it in my prayers. He introduced himself as Xander Megalos, and I have no idea why. It wasn’t until later . . .”
I take a breath because I’m choking.
“After we slept together, I found out he’s the same man who hurt you in that accident. I was so angry with myself back in Barcelona, but thoughts are a crazy thing. When I landed in Boston, I wished it was all a mistake, bestie, because I fell in love with him. The night we . . . No, you don’t need to hear that. I’m getting lost in what I really need to say. I just want you to forgive me.”
