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“It had already backfired,”she signed slowly when he didn’t finish, her fingers trembling as they formed the words.
“Yes. The last mission I was part of was supposed to be clean and precise. We were testing Tectra-X in a remote area of Turkey, far from civilian populations. But something went wrong. The device malfunctioned and triggered a massive quake instead of the controlled seismic event we were aiming for. It devastated an entire region and killed thousands—and we had no way to stop it. That was when I realized this wasn’t just a weapon. It’s a monster.”
His throat felt on fire, and he swallowed to ease the burn. For once, he couldn’t read her expression, and anxiety twisted in his gut. He felt exposed, raw, like a wound laid bare for inspection.
A taut silence stretched between them.
Finally, she took a step back, her brows knitting together in an expression of hurt and disbelief. “Why didn’t you stop it?” she asked out loud, forgetting to sign.
His chest tightened at her words. They felt like an accusation, but he couldn’t blame her. He’d wrestled with the same question every single day of his life since that fateful moment.“I tried. I told them we needed to pull the plug on the project, and they ignored me, so I was going to blow the whistle. I was going tothrow away my career to stop it…”He paused and touched the scars on his neck.“But they stopped me first. They took me off the project, sent me to Iraq, and tried to blow me up with a roadside bomb. I should’ve died. When I survived and realized what happened… I was terrified they’d come for me again. I faked my death, changed my name. It was the only way I could live any sort of a normal life.”
Rhiannon’s green-gold eyes shimmered with unshed tears, a storm of emotions brewing just beneath the surface. “Wait. So your name’s not really Pierce?”
He hesitated. He hadn’t spoken his real name in years and had never signed it.
“Don’t lie to me,” she said sharply.
“Jameson Pierce.” It had been his name for the first thirty-two years of his life, but now it felt foreign. Just a ghost of the man he used to be.“That’s my birth name, but I’ve buried that part of my life. It’s not who I am anymore. I’m Pierce St. James now.”
When he’d first adopted the alias, he’d hated it. It hadn’t been his idea, but the man who created his new ID told him it was best to keep the alias as close to his real name as possible. Still, having the word “saint” in it seemed like a cruel joke. He wasn’t a fucking saint, but when the opportunity came up to change his name again, he’d decided to keep it as a reminder to do better, be better than his past self.
No, he wasn’t a saint.
But he could at least aspire to be one.
Shame pressed heavily against his chest, crushing the air from his lungs. Each breath was a chore as he searched her gaze, desperate for understanding but fearing judgment.
Rhiannon shook her head slowly, disbelief etched across her features. “You built something that could destroy lives… and then you just poofed out of existence? Did you really think livingin hiding would make it all go away? That you could just erase the past?”
“I thought—”He stopped mid-gesture, forcing himself to slow down as frustration boiled in his chest.“I wasn’t thinking, okay? I was terrified. I was running for my life. If I could make the decision again, I would’ve stayed and gone public and destroyed the project, no matter the personal cost. But I can’t go back.”
“So, how does Gareth fit into all this?”
He lifted a shoulder and shook his head.“I honestly don’t know. He knew about the project and the weapon, and he had those maps of my apartment and Redwood Coast Rescue, but he claims he’s not my enemy. He wants to help.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Maybe.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Her voice cracked like glass under strain, and the vulnerability in her expression cut deeper than any weapon he’d ever wielded.
“Because I can’t keep lying. Not to you,”he signed fiercely, his fingers trembling with urgency.“You deserve to know who I really am—who I was and what I’m capable of.”
Rhiannon’s breath hitched. She paced away a few steps before circling back. Raszta, who had been guarding Michael through the whole aftershock, noticed her discomfort and padded over to butt his head against the back of her leg. She smiled down at him and knelt to fix his lopsided ponytail before giving him an ear scratch.
The warm affection she had for his dog sent stabs of pain through Pierce’s heart. She’d never look at him with any kind of warmth again, would she?
“I get it,” she murmured after several seconds that seemed to stretch into eternity. “You were trying to protect yourself and everyone around you—Raszta, your friends, my brother, me.”She gave Raszta one last scratch and then stood. When she faced him, her gaze was fierce. “But you should’ve told someone sooner. If not me or Rylan, then one of your other friends.”
Pierce exhaled slowly.“I didn’t want to put you at risk. I didn’t want to put anyone at risk. The more you know, the more danger you’re in. I’ve only stayed silent to protect you.”
“But we’re already in danger, and it sounds like your past is the reason. The earthquake wasn’t natural, was it?”
He exhaled. It was what he’d feared since the ground first started shaking, but he’d hoped… prayed… it was just a regular natural disaster. They were in California, after all. It wasn’t like quakes here were unheard of. But now he realized how stupidly optimistic that line of thinking had been.
But he’d known. Deep down, he’d known Tectra-X had fallen into the wrong hands. His first clue was when he and Cal Holden had been captured by that cult a few weeks back, and the leader kept demanding to know where “the device” was.
It was why he’d tried to run again.
