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“You think so?” The funding was a hurdle he still had to jump, but it was nice to hear someone believe that he could do it. Lydia held her hand up as the waitress breezed by, asking for another beer. Luke topped up as well.
“One of my favorite things about being an architect is the moment when I reveal a design to a client. Watching their faces light up as they see the actualized version of their home or building or business. We literally draw their dreams into reality. You do the same thing with people. You take their health goals or the image they have of their future selves and create that reality. You’re already in the business of making other people’s dreams come true. Why not one of your own?”
The waitress returned with their beers, and Luke lifted his in a toast. Lydia was right. He shouldn’t be embarrassed to chase his dream. Fact was, he wasn’t really embarrassed, he was terrified. Terrified that he’d tell his mom and his siblings and they’d pat him on the head and saynice try. “I think I just put so much pressure on myself to succeed that I’ve been afraid to talk about it in case it doesn’t pan out the way I hope.”
Lydia stared down at the glass caught between her hands. “I can understand that. Lately I’ve been trying to prove myself at work, but I feel like I’m in a rut. Like people don’t actually take me or my ideas seriously.”
“Like they don’t believe you could be great,” he said.
Her green eyes sparkled as she looked up at him. “Exactly. This design competition for the youth center is the first project in a long time that I’ve been genuinely excited about.”
“So how are you gonna prove yourself?”
She laughed, the sound so pretty he couldn’t help but study her face, detail by detail. The flash of her smile. The turn of her lips. The lithe, delicate line of her neck.
“Aside from kicking ass in this design competition?” Lydia said, playing with the condensation on her glass. “I’m trying to get more involved at the firm. To impress the leadership team, I guess.”
“Not just your crush?”
Her lips puckered and he thought she might roll her eyes at him. “No, not just him. The big boss also thought the marathon was a great idea, and I knew I couldn’t back out with him standing there, all enthusiastic about it.”
“Ah,” Luke teased. “So the truth finally comes out.”
Lydia bit her lip, leaving a mark that he wanted to brush away with his thumb. “I know it’s ridiculous, but now I’m sort of worried that my worth at the firm is going to be measured against how well this race goes. Logically, I know that would be a stupid thing to measure someone’s talent and ability against, but...” She shrugged. “I feel like I never know what their expectations are or where...”
“The finish line is drawn?” Luke suggested.
The corner of her mouth quirked. “Yeah. Am I doing too much or not enough? Is my work actually terrible? No one will give me a straight answer. But somehow I’m worried that if I mess this marathon up or fail to finish, they might judge me harder.”
For the first time in his life, Luke felt like he was talking to someone who could understand that nagging fear of failure. It was a whisper in the back of his head. Something he was forever cognizant of, always measuring himself against. The air around him suddenly felt stifling and he stood with his drink, cocking his head. Lydia slipped off her stool and followed him to a small booth that was closer to the window. He sat down, and Lydia slid in beside him, close enough that her thigh pressed against his, their elbows jockeying for space. It didn’t feel too close though, just comfortable. The breeze shifted across the booth, and Luke took a deep, steadying breath. “When I can’t shake that fear of failure, I just run through all the things in the world that scare me more. It sort of helps put things into perspective.”
“You mean like if the earth somehow shifts out of orbit and the gravity holding us to the ground fails, sending us free-falling into the sky?”
Luke burst out laughing, mostly at the serious look on her face. He liked that she could be serious and ridiculous at the exact same time. “That is oddly specific.”
“I have a list of fears.” She counted off on her fingers. “Sharks. Zombies. Airplanes. The ocean. Like the deep parts that are unexplored. Spiders—”
“How long is this list?”
“It goes on for a while. What’s your number one?”
He thought about it for a moment. “Definitely zombies, especially considering how densely populated the city is.”
“Right? It’s a valid concern!”
“I see why you’ve come to me now. Gotta make sure you can outrun the zombies when the time comes.”
Lydia turned to look him in the eye. “You’ve caught me. That’s the real reason I’m here.”
“Aligning yourself with the people most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse is smart.”
“I needed some muscle.”
Luke’s gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips. He couldn’t help himself. Her eyelashes were dark and fluttery, her cheeks pink from the alcohol, the gloss on her lips shining in their dim little corner. “I’ve got muscle to spare,” he said, though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what made him say it. He wasn’t supposed to be flirting with her, dammit. This, the way she was looking at him, was dangerous territory.
“I’ve noticed,” she said, the little smile at the corner of her mouth telling Luke that she knew damn well they were flirting with disaster.
“Have you?” He should put some distance between them, he thought. But he didn’t. Couldn’t. He wanted to be here, sharing the same breath of space, close enough to see the city lights reflected in her eyes. He wanted...
