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8
Heather
It has been two days and I haven’t seen or heard from Baxter. I guess it was too good to last. I should have known we wouldn’t have a future. He wasn’t the type of guy to stand on his own. No, Baxter was my past and I shouldn’t have brought him into my future.
The photos don’t worry me, not like they would have worried me a few years ago. I’m stronger now.
I’m in my office when the door opens and Michelle steps in, her eyes wide. “Someone is here to see you.”
"Oh. Well, who is it?"
Then Baxter is there and Michelle steps back. I want her to stay and I want Baxter to go, but the opposite happens.
Baxter’s sad eyes meet mine. “Hear me out, please and then you can make a decision.”
I want to tell him to leave just so he can feel the sting of pain like I have been feeling, but I can’t because no matter how much anger I have inside, there is a part of me who loves him. I’ve loved him for years, but back in school I’d been too young to know how to handle myself, now I was older and knew better. I understood we had differences, but him not being willing to listen had hurt.
“Just say it and leave.”
His lips twitched up and he moves around the desk, invading my space. His presence makes me hot, and I wished I could stop my reaction to him. I don't want to be attracted to him or want him in my life, but I'm helpless to his draw.
"You're right, I shouldn't have accused you of anything. I know photos can be manipulated, and even if I have photographic evidence, I should have listened to you instead of believing what my father wants. I've been playing his game, doing what he wants for far too long."
I nod but don't say anything. What more could I add? Baxter has been playing by his dad's rules his whole life. I'd heard so many stories, seen so much pain. I knew to stay away from him, and yet I hadn't.
"I confronted my dad. I told him my days of living under his thumb were over. I also deleted the photos from his account and because he's not as computer savvy as me, I know he won't be able to recover them. I don't care if it was you or not, it doesn't matter. I'm willing to listen to whatever you have to say without judging. I don't like the idea of any other man being with you, but that's another issue. I want to know you and love you, not the image I have of you or what other's may think, I want you, Heather."
His words twist through me. I want him and I want to trust him. “How did you dad take it?”
He shrugs. “I don’t care. He’s not my worry. You are. I don’t want you to leave me.”
My heart beats wildly. “I don’t know.”
"Neither do I, but that's the fun of it, figuring out if we work. I don't care anymore what my dad wants or what he thinks. All I care about is you. I've told him I won't allow him to disrespect you. I don't care what he thinks he has on you or what he tries to pull, he can't ruin my life because I won't allow it. I'm done allowing him to rule me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m ready to be me and not my father’s puppet. I won’t come at you accusing you of stuff, and even if you did that with those two guys, it was in your past, and I don’t want to let our pasts rule. Our future is what matters.”
I stand and face him. His hand snakes out and his fingers brush over my arm. The touch is lite but the impact is substantial. I don't want to live my life without him. He must have seen something in my eyes because he moves closer and cups my cheek.
"Heather, can't promise we won't have some issues, but I do promise I'll listen to you because you are important to me."
I don’t want to refuse his offer. I want to hold him in my arms and keep him close. I see a future with Baxter, which makes me giddy, but I have to know more before I let him off the hook.
“So if I’d done porn, you would accept me?”
He doesn’t hesitate, which I like.
“I wouldn’t want you to do it in the future, but I can’t use your past to judge you.”
“So you won’t come at me, questioning my every move?”
He shook his head. “No. I want you to be happy and healthy, and I want you in my life.”
“Why?”
His lips brush over mine, sending sparks through my body. "Because you're special. You feel right with me. And I love you."
