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16
Oden
She had left me.
And there was no one but myself to blame.
Kerenza, the synonym for obsession. Hell, the synonym for everything good and beautiful, had left me.
What had I done wrong?
Since the day we first met (which was actually our second time meeting, she just didn’t know it), I’d made it clear I wanted her, then had gone to every length to reinforce it.
It had only been five weeks, true, but that was more than enough time to worm your way inside a person’s heart. I could personally attest that it didn’t take long at all, seconds in my case, actually. That day in L.A., when I’d first laid eyes on Kerenza, I’d barely seen her for sixty seconds, and that was all it took.
So why was it so easy for her to walk away from me when it literally pained me to watch her go?
Her feelings weren’t where mine were. I respected that because I knew that as long as I did my job, one day soon, they would be. But the foundation had been laid, and still…she’d left.
Pushing off the bed, I stalked over to the sliding doors, pushed them open, and stepped out onto the balcony.
It was well after six in the morning, and I hadn’t been to sleep yet. How could I? I’d grown accustomed to sleeping with Kerenza. Of spooning her from behind and burying my nose in her hair and falling asleep to the mango, tropical scents of the natural hair products she used.
My eyes drifted to the sky. The sun was rising, leaving an eclectic mixture of reds, oranges, pinks and yellows in its wake. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the fresh air that was tinged with salt from the Atlantic Ocean, which surrounded Miami.
Another man would have stubbornly walked away, citing the fact that Kerenza was being unreasonable. But not me. Plus, I didn’t actually think she was being unreasonable. I knew, just from her mentioning it a handful of times, she’d been hurt in the past. Lied to. Cheated on. Used. Abused. Gaslit.
So no, the woman—my woman—wasn’t overreacting. She was suffering from PTSD, and as her man, it was my job to be there for her, not get all in my feelings and retreat.
Alphas didn’t retreat. They protected, at all costs.
And besides, Kerenza was right, I was keeping a secret from her, just not one that involved me sleeping with Isobel.
In the grand scheme of things, concealing the fact that I’d orchestrated my presence in Pittsburgh, at ULC, wasn’t the worse ‘secret’ to have. But it was a secret no less.
Sighing, I gripped the balcony rail in frustration.
It was the end of the game and time to lay my cards on the table. I would tell Kerenza everything, and if she cared about me even a fraction of the way I cared about her, she would give us a real chance.
My secret would be a shock, so she would need time and space to process. It would be hard, but I’d give it to her.
I’d been right to guess that Kerenza wouldn’t spend the night in the room she shared with Isobel. After all, she was operating under the ridiculous notion that Isobel and I were secretly sleeping together.
What I hadn’t been right about was how pissed she was. Instead of bunking in the other room in the two bedroom suite, with Maya and Adhira, Kerenza had booked her own separate room on the other side of the hotel. All it took to glean this information from the front desk attendant was five crisp one hundred dollar bills.
I rode the elevator to the West wing of the hotel, and stepped off. My palms were sweating, so I discreetly wiped them on the sides of my pants, even though no one was around to see me like this. I didn’t rattle easily, but ever since I’d laid eyes on a certain brown-skinned beauty, I’d found that I was, at the end of it all, just a man. A man who could be thrown off his game at the slightest bat of an eye from the woman he craved with every fiber of his being.
As I neared the door to room 1618, my heart took off like a horse in the Kentucky Derby. I gulped and cleared my throat, urging myself to pull it together.
I couldn’t help but wonder, how will she take my little revelation?
Only one way to find out.
Steeling myself, I knocked on the door. A minute later, it swung open.
As soon as my eyes fell on Kerenza, every ounce of unrest left my body. A mildly disconcerting feeling of peace washed over me. This was the effect she had on me.
“Hello,” I said softly.
