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It's been barely two hours since I woke up from the beautiful sleep I fell into after my session with Tanner last night.
How is it possible that I feel both sated and hungry at the same time?
It had been wonderful having the cucumber inside of me to finally quell the horniness that has plagued me all week. However, something about it felt so impersonal, almost like an out-of-body experience.
It was just my luck to have Tanner walk in when he did, even though he was his usual snarky self.
Fuck! He was good.I scream in my head.
However, despite what just happened between us, there is one thing that remains clear to me, and that is that Tanner still annoys me and manages to get under my skin, no matter what I do to stop it.
Unfortunately, my words never manage to cut through whatever solid armor he’s wearing long enough for him to admit defeat.
I shouldn’t be attracted to him, and yet, I am. His fingers had been absolutely wonderful inside of me. That much I can’t deny. The way he toyed with my G-spot and left me wanting more.The way his thumb caressed my clit, stimulating the sexual explosion, still makes my sensitive nub tingle. Hmm.
My mind drifts to Josiah. His muscular arms have been a thing of dreams from the moment I saw him, no matter how pissed I was then.
I want to feel those hands wrapped around me as they lift me up. I want to wrap around him and I want him to do whatever he desires.
“Fucking hell…”
What is going on? Since when have I been so in tune with myself and my sexuality that I imagine getting sexual with all of these men?
Rueben’s body is a work of art that has stayed plastered in my mind from the moment we shared a bathroom, and I want to plaster myself to him and have him invade my body, much like he has done with my mind.
My mouth waters as I picture his big, tattooed cock hardening in my grip. I want to watch as the skin stretches and the image of his tattoo becomes increasingly visible. I want to trace every inch of his cock with my tongue until he cums in my mouth.
I lift my pillow to my face. My thoughts shame me. How is this me? How am I thinking such thoughts?
Am I just lonely?
There has never been a time in my life when I was so focused on my pleasure as I am now, although there’s always been something in the back of my mind for me to fixate on.
I’ve never really had friends since Dad died. The moment I thought I knew who his killers were, I made it my mission to make sure that I grew up to be the type of person that would have the power to make them pay.
That meant focusing on school and the police academy, and avoiding whatever would distract me from what I needed to do, which often meant friends, parties, and a chance at a social life.
I have never regretted any of it, not even now that I've found out that the people I put my trust in were the ones to be wary of, and those I planned to make pay were the ones who truly cared for my dad.
This is my first go at friendship of any sort, and the guys have been pretty much how I imagined friendship would be.
Rueben has been the most caring. He constantly goes out of his way to engage in conversation with me, even when I am snarky or rude towards him.
On days when he’s busy and won't be around much, he makes sure to have my breakfast waiting for me the moment I wake up.
While it pains me to admit it, this period has been one of the best times of my life, when I'm not thinking of how my father’s killer could still be out there.
Rueben manages to make sure that I forget all that plagues me and enjoy myself. Although I still haven't managed to trust them quite yet—I still remember what happened the last time I chose to trust someone—I’m glad for their company.
I close my eyes and try to relax a little, but much like before, my thoughts are plagued by images of Rueben and Josiah in somany different positions that I’m surprised I’m actually able to think some of them up.
What the fuck is all of this?
I toss the pillow overhead, staring at it as it hits the floor in a corner. I don’t go back to retrieve it, content to have let out some steam, although it’s not nearly enough.
“I’ll lose my mind if I stay here.”
I get out of bed and head straight to the kitchen to help myself with some breakfast. Maybe eating will help me relax. But there, a place I thought I could find peace, is where I am met with yet another temptation. I freeze in shock as I set my eyes on him.
