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I understood. And I saw why Maddie had thought to ask me to help. Movies had once been my job—my passion. But I hadn’t made a film in a long time, and what they needed was more practical help than I could probably offer. “I don’t film,” I said. “I’m not a cameraman. I don’t know how helpful I’d be.” As I said it, already my mind was jumping from my irrational worries to this project, eager to have something more productive to fixate on.
Maddie shook her head. “No, we need you to do what you do best—you’re the visionary, right? If you’ll help guide it, create the vision, I know it would be amazing. If you let us do it without you, I might as well just hand my phone to Adele and let her film me walking down the aisle.”
“They’ve made entire Hollywood movies with phone cameras,” I told her. She stuck out her tongue at me.
“Please?” Harper asked, and the lilt in her voice and the shine in her eyes told me I’d be saying yes in a matter of minutes. While every crazy thought in my head was warning me to stay away from her, every cell in my body was driving me to jump on this chance to get closer to her.
“Okay,” I agreed. “Might need to bring someone else in to film, though.”
“I’d be happy to use my phone,” Sam said, always the joker.
“No thanks,” Chance shot across the table.
“You’re a great artist, Sam,” Miranda said, her hand finding the back of his neck. “But I think your talents lie in pen and paper.”
“You saw the movie I made with Finn last week,” Sam countered. “With the stop-motion pinecone people attacking the tent and the tiny pine-needle zombies? Don’t forget about the little bears we made out of mud!”
“Point made,” Chance said. “And you’d be the perfect choice if Maddie and Connor were made out of mud. You know someone, Cam?”
I leaned back in my chair, thinking. I knew a couple guys who might be willing to come spend some time in the mountains. “Yeah, I think so.”
“That’d be awesome. Thanks, man.” Connor smiled.
When dinner wrapped up, I excused myself, telling everyone I was exhausted from a long week. It wasn’t a lie, but the whole truth had more to do with my need to put some distance between me and the warm contentment circling the group inside Connor’s house for fear of wrecking it with my disjointed emotions. My mind was zinging back and forth, pushing me to explore whatever might exist between me and Harper, and pushing me to avoid connection at the same time.
“Take me home?” Harper asked me as I said goodbye, her hand on my arm, its heat branding me, snaking over my skin, through my blood.
I searched for the strength to tell her to stay, to have fun. Instead I found an image of the two of us sharing the dark cab of my truck on the short drive home, her energy pulsing around me, filling me with an almost unfamiliar sensation—hope.
“Sure,” I said. “Ready?”
* * *
I settledHarper into the cab of the truck, and soon enough we were ensconced in the quiet darkness, the hum of the motor creating a soothing purr as I drove.
“That was nice,” Harper said, leaning her head back against the seat. “It’s strange,” she continued. “This should be one of the most stressful times of my life. I’m broke, essentially homeless, forced to approach reconstructing a completely dysfunctional relationship with my dad, and worried about a business deal I really want to take advantage of, but which might disappear at any moment if I don’t get down to Austin soon enough. And yet…” Harper trailed off.
“Yet what?” I asked, wishing for the sound of her voice as soon as it was gone.
“Yet I feel happy. Calm. Peaceful, even.”
I smiled at her. I liked thinking that Harper was happy. I barely knew the woman, and still I didn’t like to think of her sad. “Good,” I said.
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“Living with a curse has to be pretty stressful.” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“It’s not a joke.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“It is,” I confirmed. “I worry all the time. I want to keep my sister close, go down and check on my dad, make sure he’s okay. But then I tell myself they might actually be better if I stay away, keep my distance.”
“But you’ve loved Maddie all your life and she’s fine.”
“For now.”
