AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“We’ll see.” The oldest Dad answer in the books came out of my mouth without me even thinking about it. It was second nature, routine. And maybe that was part of the problem. I’d been stuck in this routine for so long I couldn’t even see the way out.
As Daniel’s face fell—because all kids know ‘we’ll see’ usually means no—I stopped myself and dropped a hand on his shoulder. “Dan.”
He looked up at me. And I saw then the way his cheeks were starting to sharpen, the dark eyes that were becoming deeper, older even. The chin that no longer had the little boy softness. My son was growing up. Maybe it was time I did the same.
“Yes. Tomorrow I’ll do something about it.”
His face broke into a wide smile then, and my son said, “I’m proud of you, Dad.”
34
The Train to Crazytown
Addison
Taking the Amtrak into Penn Station on Halloween had been a mistake. I’d changed out of my wedding dress, but I would have fit in better had I left it on, along with the ghoulish makeup I’d been wearing. The Amtrak was populated with ghosts and zombies, vampires and more Avengers and Superheroes than I could stomach.
I stuck my nose in a book and pretended to read, but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart, in fact, was broken.
Part of me thought I shouldn’t have left at all, that if I wanted Michael Tucker, I could tug up my big-girl pants and just tell him so. But the sting of rejection was just too fresh, and he’d basically already told me there wasn’t a place for me in his life. I couldn’t risk being told, once again, that I wasn’t worth choosing.
The closer I got to the city, the more I missed Singletree and all the charm my little town held, even without a certain Tucker. I’d come back because I knew I’d been happy here once. I’d designed a life for myself here once. And now I was trying to fit myself back into that life, but I already knew we’d both changed shapes and I wasn’t going to fit. There were new angles and curves to me that hadn’t been there before Luke left me, before I’d fallen in love with Michael Tucker.
Still, I had committed. I’d had to do something.
So I stepped onto the platform at Penn, immediately swept up in the fecund subway steam, the swell of humanity pressing up the escalators to the concourse. I let the crowd carry me along, up to the subway entrance, and then I rode the red line up to Eighty-Sixth Street, where my couch awaited. Janet had said I was welcome to come tonight, though she and her boyfriend would be out until late.
And as I stood in the crowded subway car after midnight, swaying as the train jolted and turned, I realized I might be the only person not going out that night. New York City was always pulsing with life, but any opportunity for publicly sanctioned costume wearing was a special day—and the citizens took full advantage of the chance to let freak flags fly high and proud. There were far more costumed subway customers than non-costumed folk at this hour, and it made the entire world feel surreal and a little bit insane.
I walked to the building where Janet lived and spoke to the doorman. She’d left my name downstairs with a key, and I went up to the ninth floor, carrying my heavy bag through her apartment door and finally setting it down in the quiet of her space.
Janet was another analyst at my firm, and she was doing very well. She’d bought her apartment last year, and I’d been here once for the housewarming party. Now, in contrast to my mother’s cottage, and the huge mansion on Maple, it looked tiny and meager. And the city outside the windows that had once felt vibrant and wild seemed dirty and exhausting.
Maybe I couldn’t do city life anymore.
Either way, it didn’t matter now. I laid down on the couch, which Janet had made up for me, and closed my eyes, falling asleep without even brushing my teeth or removing my jacket. Sometime in the middle of the night, Janet came in, giggling, with a male voice accompanying hers.
“Shhhh,” one of the whispered dramatically, and once they’d shuffled through and closed the bedroom door, I got up, got dressed for bed, used the bathroom and laid back down.
I awoke late, to a dreary gray Sunday morning. Janet shuffled down the hall a few minutes after I’d used the bathroom, rubbing her eyes.
“Hey,” she said. “How are you, Addie?”
“Well, I’m sleeping on a couch,” I said. “So I guess I’ve been better. Thanks so much for letting me stay.”
“It’s really no problem,” she said. “Hey, could you grab the door when it buzzes? I ordered coffee and bagels. I’m gonna try to wash the alcohol from my skin with a quick shower, okay?”
“Sure,” I said.
An hour later, I sat at her small table with Janet and her boyfriend Allen, eating bagels and drinking coffee. Though my mom’s bakery was wonderful, this was one thing I really did love about New York City.
“That’s pretty,” Janet said, touching the slim silver bracelet on my arm.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, slipping it off. “It was in the house, the one I told you about.” I showed it to her, turning it over so she could see the engraving.
“To Lucille,” she read. “Our love defies boundaries. Robert.” She raised her eyes to me in question.
“It’s this beautiful love story between two people from families that hated each other. Kind of like Romeo and Juliet but without all the suicide.”
